Melancholia [Tom Hiddleston] {EBT book 4/4}

6

Kate was surprised to get through two airports and a twenty two hour flight without too much fuss. Matilda was an angel and had a captive audience with the flight attendants and Kate kept her in a carrier through the airport. She was relieved to find Lizzie waiting for her right outside and within a few minutes they were loaded in the car and bound for their childhood home.

"How's it going, honey?" Lizzie asked.

"He left, and then I left, and now we're voluntarily on opposite sides of the world. So yeah. It's going great."

Once she was settled in and Matilda was down for a nap, Kate went out to the deck. Nerida and Jeremy's house was the same one Kate and Liz had grown up in, only a road separated them from the beach and the sea spray gave a tingling salty taste on her tongue, filling her nostrils with the smell of home. The cooler air of May still felt ten degrees warmer than their home in England, and she was enjoying the sun on her face when Nerida and Liz joined her with drinks and some lunch.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nerida asked gently.

"Not really. You already know everything, I think we've reached a stalemate. I wish I could just turn it off, but I can't, so he's going to have to compromise a little. Hear me out at least, and stop treating me like a sulky child."

"Are you starting to feel any better?"

"Amazingly, yes. I think so. Not cured, but I made it here without an anxiety attack so that's something. Just don't ask me to leave Matilda with anyone and everything's fine." She smiled weakly and Nerida put a plate of food down in front of her.

"Eat. You look like you haven't been. I've arranged the very lovely psychologist I told you about to come and see you this afternoon, if that's all right?"

"Thanks, mum. That's great."

"Hello, I'm Molly. You must be Kate?"

"Yes, please come in." Kate opened the door and held it for Molly to walk by. She was around Kate's age, tall and fair haired with tan skin. As they went to the loungeroom, Matilda was propelling herself along the carpet in pursuit of a musical snail.

"And this must be Matilda. She is just gorgeous! I have a little boy, Aidan, he's almost one."

"She thinks she's pretty clever at the moment, getting herself around. I'm so lucky. She sleeps well, eats well, she's such a happy little soul. Just like her father."

Molly took in her sad expression and put a hand on her shoulder. "From what I hear, you were too. And you will be again, trust me. I focus on postnatal and other hormone related depression and anxiety, and I promise you this is not anything you've done. It's not your fault, and it can happen regardless of how good your baby is, how much support you have, how smart you are."

They sat down on the couch and Molly fished in her bag for a notepad and pen. "I'll keep this informal but is it ok if I take notes?"

"Of course,"

"So, start wherever you like and tell me what you'd like some help with."

"I just feel really flat. Two dimensional almost. And I have such a short fuse, I snap at Tom all the time when he's at home. It's like I find his positivity offensive and it just grates on me. I can't leave Matilda with anyone for any length of time, I have random panic attacks out of nowhere, and I haven't had sex with my Adonis of a husband since she was born. I think that sums it up?"

Molly chuckled softly. "Sounds so simple, doesn't it? You're on medication, how is it going? Any side effects?"

"A bit of nausea for the first few days but that's all. I think they're starting to take the edge off, I had no problem with the flight yesterday. That's a lie, I had a panic attack the night before. But on the day I was ok."