Melancholia [Tom Hiddleston] {EBT book 4/4}

2

By the time Kate drove Liz to the airport three days later, the seed had begun to sprout in her brain, a little voice in the back of her head that told her everything might not be ok, that she might not have to feel like this all of the time. Just after she got home, Tom called.

"Hello, darling. Lizzie got to the airport ok?"

"Yep," Kate managed to squeak out.

"Everything OK baby?"

"Yeah,"

"Katherine..."

She tried to choke back a sob and managed to reduce it to a small hiccup.

"Baby, what's wrong? Is it just that Lizzie has gone home?"

"Mm hm." Kate sniffed.

"I'll be home soon, darling. Everything will be better, I promise."

"I don't think it will, Tom."

"Don't say that. Talk to me, Kate. What's going on?"

"I just... I don't know if I'll ever get it back. What if I never want to have sex again?"

"Then I'll live with it. Because I love you."

Kate scoffed. "I have to go, Matilda's just woken up. I can't wait for you to come home."

"Me either, darling. Would you do something for me? Go and get a blood test and get your iron checked. I'll bet this is something simple."

"OK."

The day before Tom arrived, Kate dragged herself and Matilda out to visit the doctor. Kate was asked to fill out a quiz on how she was feeling, and they took some blood for some other tests. The doctor and receptionist oohed and aahed over Matilda, and by the time Kate got home they were both ready for a nap.

Just as she was dozing off, the phone rang next to her head.

"Katherine? It's doctor Oates. Your blood tests are all fine so far, the full ones will be back in a few days. I can tell you your iron is fine though. You're going to talk to Tom and let me know what you decide?"

"Yes. Thanks, Doctor."

Kate hung up and cried. Part of the outpouring was relief that there was something she could do, and part of it was pure terror that she would have to broach the subject with Tom when he got home.

"God I missed you, darling. Is Matilda sleeping?"

"Yes. It's so good to have you home. I'll go and make you a cup of tea."

They sat down on the couch and she looked into his blue eyes. He looked sleepy, and she thought he really should have a nap, but they needed to talk first.

"I saw the doctor, Tom. There's nothing wrong with my iron. There's nothing physically wrong with me."

"Well that's good, I suppose."

"There is something though. She thinks I have post natal depression and she wants me to consider medication and some counseling."

"That's... darling, I'm all for counseling to get to the bottom of what's bothering you. But depression? You? I don't buy it. What, they're going to give you some happy pills and everything will get better?"

"Something like that. Although you make it sound much simpler than it is."

"What do you think?"

"I think I probably had the wrong idea about what depression is. I thought I'd be sad and crying all the time."

"Kate, have you hurt Matilda? Have you thought about it?" He asked gently.