Blood; Ben Bruce

cigarette

Another Bottle Down- Asking Alexandria
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His eyes were boring into mine, as if he were trying to find any light in my eyes. Of course, the sight he was greeted with was dull and hazy.

Ben's sloppy, golden hair was covering my sight on his eyes. I tried to avoid eye contact by looking at his numerous tattoos. They were colourful and was a contrast from his pale skin.

"Look at me." Ben finally said.

Slowly, I made eye contact with him, trying my hardest not to look away. I watched him search my face for any emotion, I did the same.

"Carmen, I can't see your eyes." He frowned, moving my hair from my face. Then he took a cautious leap, holding his hand to the side of my face. "Your bruised. Why?"

I contemplated telling him the truth. But he wouldn't let up unless I told him something. "A- a few boys t- tried hurting me. I screamed and got punched."

I saw the anger return in his light eyes. He was going to question me, no doubt. Ben's jaw clenched as he was thinking about something.

"Did you see what they looked like?" He finally asked.

I shook my head. I wanted to admit to him that I was scared, but I didn't exactly trust him yet. This could be fake. And being me, I'd fall for it.

We had a moment of silence. I was leaned up against the back wall, looking away from the man before me.

I heard the flicker of a lighter, and a heavy exhale. When I looked over, Ben was leaned up next to me.

The cigarette looked so appealing. It was deadly, I knew that, but he seemed so relaxed while smoking.

I licked my chapping lips. "Can I try one?"

Ben looked at me as if I was insane. His expression became serious. "No."

"Why not?"

He sighed, looking down at the small stick in between his fingers. "Because, you're smart enough to know you shouldn't."

It'd be pointless to argue further with him. He was stubborn, and nothing could change his mind.

"Ben?"

He hummed, nodding his head up.

I hesitated. "Are- no. Do...do you hate me?" My voice was barely above a whisper at that point.

"Does it seem like it?" He quizzed.

Nibbling the inside of my lip, I started playing with the sleeves of my hoodie. "Yeah...it does." I admitted.

Ben sighed, flicking away some buildup of ash. "Carmen, I don't hate you. It's just that I don't trust anyone anymore, and it's kinda starting to piss me off because I want to trust you." 

Then he laughed. But it wasn't a laugh of humour, it was a laugh at yourself for knowing that you're hopeless.

"It doesn't make sense!" He exclaimed, turning to me. "There are so many girls that come onto me, yet the one girl that doesn't want me, is going to fix me. I don't understand, Carmen!"

My eyes started to get wide from watching him slowly come undone. The words that I wanted to say, I couldn't process, because I was shocked.

"I can't trust you, but I know I can. Shit. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't keep myself contained when I'm around you. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This can't be happening!" He rambled.

I couldn't stop staring at him. He was weak and vulnerable, and yet he still managed to stay the slightest bit calm.

"Ben?" I whispered quietly.