When Will My Life Begin (Phan AU)

When somebody loved me

Phil

Everywhere I went I looked for the familiar tattoo on someone's arm. I looked and looked and looked. I looked online at matching sites. I checked in newspapers, on TV. Everywhere. At age 18 I was hopeful. At 19 I started to lose hope. But I never gave up.

At age 20, as the people around me found their partners, got married and started families, I worked. Working for the future, trying to start a comfortable home, have a good income so that when I finally met my partner I could provide for them. I didn't want to rely on anyone because there was always that doubt in my head.

What if I never found them? What if my soulmate was in a cold grave on the other side of the world. What if I spent the rest of my life alone? I was starting to accept the fact that that might be my future. I had looked everywhere. I had tried every way possible to find my match, to find the person who was my future. But maybe it wasn't meant to be.

I had started a small YouTube channel on top of my work. It started as a hobby but I soon realised that I was making a small, but steady, income from it. I didn't want to quit my job and do that full time just yet. But it helped. Knowing that I was helping other people who were in the same position. That I was making a difference in people's lives.

When my tattoo had first appeared a girl in my school (who wasn't 18 yet) had thought she was my match because her favourite animal was an alpaca. It had lasted for 3-4 months and I had thought we were in love. But then her tattoo had appeared. And it wasn't the same. It was some guy from her church. And so she left me. Her excuse was, "I never loved you anyway. I thought you knew that?"

I often thought about it. I was over her now. But how did you know if someone loves you? But when she "loved" me, everything was beautiful. Every hour we spent together lives within my heart. But even if the stars and moon collide I never want her back into my life. She can keep her words and all her lies. I really don't care.

So I carried on with my life. I got a job. I moved out and got my own place. I dyed my hair. I grew up. But I was alone. I had no real friends. I had acquaintances who I would occasionally go out with but I didn't have anyone I could just call and talk to when I felt down. My life was boring. So I started YouTube. It was a way to connect to people. To meet people. To share stories and experiences. To be myself. And I loved it.

But my life wasn't perfect. My landlord had just put up the rent prices. I couldn't afford it anymore. I could either move or get a roommate. I was going with the second option. I lived in a 2 bedroom flat near the university so hopefully I would find a student who needed somewhere nearby to live.

I hoped I would find someone quiet who I would get on with.  I didn't want someone who would be having people over every night and having wild parties. Surely that wouldn't be too hard?

AN: longer chapter next. Please vote and comment!  Do you feel sorry for Phil yet? If you don't you must be heartless. Enjoy the refs if you find them!!
And yes, all these chapters are named after Disney songs!!