On Thin Ice

Chapter 32- time blurs, memories don't

TAE POV:

There must be hundreds. Thousands of people.

A crowd that thrums with voices, an electric buzz that crackles across the air.

A hum of noise that's constant, voices overlapping, conversations filtering in and out of my ears. Groups of people...students... no. Athletes. Polished. Perfect. Glowing.

Faces among the crowd that are already distinguishable. Recognisable from competitions.

People with names, titles, glory-

The air is thick, heavy.

Choking.

The crowd gets bigger. Swells as it expands.

Hundreds of athletes circling each other, circling me, smiles sharp, eyes hungering as they size each other up. Marking who's worthy and who isn't.

It's not a crowd.

It's a feeding frenzy.

Conversations sharp, smiles sharper. Criticism coated in pleasantries and the ones not strong enough... known enough swallowed up without realising that they're being noted, being watched... that someone in the crowd somewhere doesn't think they're worthy to be here.

I'm not worthy to be here.

Eyes trace over me, through me, past me.

And the eyes that linger, that slow down, drag themselves slowly up and down my front, the tip of a mouth curled up. Smile curving up tentatively, hesitant. And then falling away when their smile doesn't reach their eyes.

Falls away.

Oh.

Okay.

And the crowd moves forward, breaking off into groups, huddles, filtering their way down towards the signing-in lines.

People clustered together. Packs formed. Loyalties being chosen.

Everyone finds their place.

You'll find your place.

Everyone finds their people.

You'll find your people.

Everyone has earnt their place here.

You've earnt your place here.

"I'm so proud of you aegi. You've worked so hard. You've earnt your place here." hands smoothing down my front, pulling the fronts of my coat tighter around me.

You've earnt it. You've earnt it.

But in the middle of the crowd I feel like an outsider.

Brand labels.

Sponsorship emblems.

Professional kit.

Camera-ready photos, smiles perfect, hair pristine.

So put together.

So ready and worthy of walking the prestigious halls of SNSU.

They're not here to become athletes-they already are people at the top of their game, of their sport.

My hands bury themselves deeper into my pockets, shoulders shifting uneasily.