we were born sick. || lashton ✓

12

ashton.
..
I am scared, but I can't let Luke find out. The second he finds out I'm scared he will be more terrified than he already is.

I squeeze Luke's shaking hand in an attempt to comfort him as we walk up the steps to the doors of school. I hold the door open for him to walk through and immediately I can hear a silence fall over the normally loud and bustling hallways. Luke cowers into my side as we begin walking down the hall. As I look around I feel disgusted. Everyone is packed against the lockers like sardines, scared they'll 'catch the gay' if they breathe near Luke and I.
I feel like I'm a bug under a microscope. Being studied like a science experiment; like I'm some foreign creature that no one has ever discovered before. I can feel people poking and prodding at me with their dagger eyes. They're trying to figure out what makes me tick. I'm a new discovery and they're testing me to see how much I'll take before I break.

We finally come to a stop in front of the principal and I can already tell we're in some deep shit for just showing our faces here. Mr. Jenkins stares me and Luke down with his beady eyes and I just focus on the light glistening off his bald head. His lips are twisted into a look of disgust along with his nose being scrunched up.

"Hemmings. Irwin. What do you two think you're doing? Public displays of affection from your kind isn't tolerated here. And you know what happens when people like you break the rules." Mr. Jenkins says. I clutch onto Luke tighter and I can feel his arms wrap around me in a strong, but shaking, grip.

"What are you going to do bend us over your knee and beat us?" I say, feeling my blood pulsing quickly through my veins. Mr. Jenkins raises an eyebrow at my tone, "Because if you're planning on it, I just want to tell you that it would be very gay of you to do that."

"To my office!" He shouts. I roll my eyes and pull Luke along with me to the office as everyone begins chattering about us. When we get to the office, Luke and I sit down in the lounge chairs across from Mr. Jenkins desk. We sit in silence for a few minutes until Mr. Jenkins comes in the room.

"Now, I have to explain to you two faggots the rules you will follow. If you fail to follow them it will be my pleasure to expel you both immediately." I roll my eyes at Mr. Jenkins as he continues on his rant.

"There will be no toleration of PDA between the two of you. I will not have students become distracted because of your vile, and disgusting choice in lifestyle. You will not be allowed to show your homosexual pride in these halls. So I will need to confiscate those trashy rainbow bracelets before you leave. You will not be allowed to be alone together. This means a person of my choosing will have to escort you to the bathroom and all such as that. I'm not going to tolerate the two of you planning a meet up in the bathroom, and I certainly don't need you skipping school because you're going to the parking lot to engage in unspeakable sins." Mr. Jenkins is staring Luke down and I can tell he is ready to cry. Sadly, I can't reach over to hold his hand and comfort him.

"Neither of you are allowed to leave campus for lunch." Mr. Jenkins continues, "If it is school hours then I need to know that you two are here and not off doing whatever it is people like you do. Lastly, you both have been dropped from your electives. Instead of going to band you will be escorted to a private room in the library to watch films about how the gay lifestyle is a sin. Every day for an hour and a half you'll do this. Again, fail to meet these expectations and you will be expelled immediately. Now leave your bracelets on my desk and head to class. Your escorts will be waiting for you there."

Slowly, I pull off my rainbow bracelet and place it on Mr. Jenkins desk. I look over to Luke and watch as a tear falls from his eye in time with his bracelet falling on the desk. We get up from the chairs and walk out of the office and into the empty hallway. I look around and make sure no one is coming before jerking Luke i to my arms. As soon as his head hits my chest I feel him sob and I hold him tighter.

"I know, Lukey. I know baby. Please don't cry. Be strong for me." I whisper, my lips pressed slightly against Luke's wet cheek. I feel Luke nod and we pull away so he can wipe the tears from his face.

"He took our bracelets." Luke whispers.

"I know. He had no right to do that." I agree as I begin walking Luke to his class. When we get to the door I kiss Luke's forehead before going off to my class. As soon as I walk in I can tell it's going to be a long day. Everyone is watching me again as I walk to my seat. And when I see who my escort is I'm ready to puke.

Jack Hemmings.

Considering who my escort is I know Luke probably has Ben for his escort. And it's killing me slowly as I think about what Ben could do or say to Luke. I can't be there to protect him from being put under this microscope. I can't shield his little bug body from the harsh light and the staring eyes that feel like daggers.

And that's when I know that today is going to be the worst day of my life.

-

Third period rolls around and I'm in hell. I've had to take off my jacket because it's covered in spitballs. My hair is wet because some kid in first period saw me in the bathroom and decided to give me a swirly. My shirt has a rip in the side under my arm because Michael slammed me against the lockers and one of his stupid rings caught on a loose string which tore the shirt.

Jack follows me as I walk into the private room labelled "for queers only." Luke is already sitting in the room and my heart rips apart when I see him. His left eye is bruising. His hair is dripping and his shirt is soaked. His bottom lip is cut and bleeding.

"Luke are you okay?" I ask, sitting beside him a little too hastily.

"Jesus, don't you understand no PDA!" Jack yells as he pushes me onto the floor away from Luke. Jack and Ben begin laughing as the lights in the room turn out and the door closes.

"They're gone." Luke says, pulling me back into my chair as the film begins.

"What happened to you?" I ask Luke.

"Swirly by Michael. Beaten by Calum. Shoved in a shower in the locker room by both of them." Luke says. I lean over and kiss him gently before kissing his bruising eye.

"What about you?"

"Spitballs, swirly, and shoved against the lockers by Michael." I list off. Luke rolls his eyes and crawls into my lap. I hold him as we sit in silence watching the bullshit film about homosexuality being a mental disorder.

"Yea, all gay men are going after teenaged twinks*." Luke chuckles, commenting on the story line of the film.

"Luke, you could be considered a twink don't even." I laugh.

"Bitch, I am a twink and I am proud. But also, you're the one dating me." Luke says. I swear sometimes I question how people didn't figure out he was gay before. Especially with that voice full of sass.

We spend the entire hour and a half cuddling and watching the same film over and over. At first I thought this part of the day was going to be the worst, considering we're being forced to watch anti-gay films, but it turns out it's okay. It's the only part of the school day where I get to see Luke and actually talk to him without fear of being called out for it.

"Someone's coming." Luke whispers, jumping out of my lap. I sigh at the loss of contact as Ben and Jack come into the room. The lights flick on and the film turns off, signalling that it's time to leave. Luke and I grab our things before walking out of the library room and back into the hallways. As we part ways, Luke blows me a kiss which I pretend to catch. And I think that's when my heart breaks just a little more.

..

* twink: a twink is a gay boy who is usually blonde, slim, and has little muscle. He also has very boyish or teenaged features and rages in age from 18-22.

video on top/side is the movie the boys watch.