Phan-One shots

Clean version of 'Drunk History Of Fall Out Boy'

Its so clean that you could read it to a small child :) and it literally took me hours to write out.

Its the summer of 2001.

Joe meets Patrick, and he's like "Yo, I know about music."

And Patrick's like, "Yo, I know more about music."

"That's impossible. Do you wanna start a band?"

And Patrick's like, "Yeah that's cool." And then, he's like, "Yo this is a book store, this isn't a music store!"

And then, they met at Patrick's house. So Patrick's wearing shorts, and socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some reason. And Pete's there for some reason.

They start playing music together, and they're like 'Oh lets play some covers from some other bands.' There was like, Green Day, Misfits, and Ramones.

Pete said to Joe, "Yo we gotta change this stuff up. Yo we played all of these bands, lets play stuff from Fall Out Boy."

And, so, Pete and Patrick were like, 'Yo, that's dope. But we need a drummer!' Because Patrick's playing drums, but he's a singer.

Patrick's like, "Yo I got a soul voice."

And they're like, "Wait how to you have a soul voice?"

And he's like, "Watch this, yeahhhhhhyeahhhhhyeahhhhhyeahhhhohhhhhm."

So they're like, 'Oh my god that sounds like soul!' So they put it in the song, and it was like, 'Where is your boy tonighiiihiiiihiiihiiiightttt!'

And then they're like, 'Yo that's perfect, this is Fall Out Boy.' And they made records like, Evening out with your ex girlfriend. Evening out with your ex girlfriend, everyone loves it. And its real and it doesn't matter!

Pete talked to Patrick and Joe, and he was like, 'What the heck! Yo this is going to be dope!"

So they made a record and it was called, Take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! So they had like four different drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like, Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto. The fourth one was like from papa roach or something like that.

And they were like, 'Yo, we need Andy Hurley.'

"Andy Hurley, Take This To Your Grave, record it!" And he did it, and he killed it. He was like 'biggleaboppleabuppshh' Killing the skins, tapping the skins, tapping the rims, Playing the crap, killing these people, rapping it out.

They're like, "We should get signed to Fueled By Ramehn, because these guys know what is going on!"

So Fueled By Rahmen is like, "Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it already is, which is not hard, we will sign you guys."

Pete's like, "Yo, we got this record that's really dumb dude! Its called Take This To Your Grave."

And then Patrick's like, "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album, they're called, its called Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Twenty Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar Were Going Down."

And they made this record that was so dope and it hit on the charts like, One Two Three, Three Two One, Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten, Ten to One!

From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records, ten million records, fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record!

And Patrick's like, "That's Goooohuuuuuohhhuuuddddh!"

Pete was like, "Yo, screw you! I can do whatever I want!"

Joe was like, "Yeah that's cool, man whatever I don't give a crap."

And then Andy was like, "Eh, cool!"

And Pete was like, "Makeup is great for a guy, because it makes you look beautiful, and a lot of the time guys are not beautiful, and I want to change that. I want to change that. I want to make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful."

We made rolling stones one issue before Fall Out Boy, and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so mad! They were like 'Screw you guys.'

They were like, 'Yo, Panic! has the cover of rolling stone, well screw these dudes were gonna go miles above! Were gonna hit every continent there is known to man!'

But they didn't, because they missed a second of time. Apparently, 'They were like oh look we got every continent.' But they didn't actually hit it.

Dude, Pete was like, 'Yo what the heck!" Oh you didn't make the continent, its like screw you!

So, From Under The cork Tree happens, we have three or four years of awesomeness!

So Patrick's like, "Yo were gonna name these records From Under The Cork Tree, and Infinity on high."

Pete's like, "Yo, Foile A Deux means the theatric of two. No, no the madness of two."

Fall Out Boy was like, 'yo we gotta take a break."

Meaning that Pete was like, "Yo, we gotta take a break brah."

Patrick's like, "I need time for my music, euhhhhohhh."

And Joes like, "Yo, I gotta find an art dude, I gotta find some mettle."

And Andy's like, "Im just gonna play in some mettle bands."

And they're like, "Alright this break has been like, been three years long. Two years long. Three years. Four and a half? We need to come back man, we gotta come back strong!"

"We gotta make this crap legit, its gonna be dope. Its gonna go sky high. Were gonna make a record that sales the sky. Its gonna be called, Save Rock And Roll."

They made, Alone Together, Light Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everyone like what the heck, you're working with this guy that recorded like Avril Lavigne and Pink??

Pete was like, 'Yo, were gonna go on this warped tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.'

And that's all, that's all that matters. And that's just how the story goes.