What do you know
about waking up
everyday
and wishing you hadn't?
wanting to rip your genes out of your veins and hurl them into the dark where no one will think to look
because they are afraid
of what else has been forgotten in there
they cannot compare you with them then.
not if they don't know who they are, what they look like, what are their names?
All these questions that have nothing to do with you
wanting to not be anything like the person that's blood makes up half of yourself,
the strings of red that know you better than you,
tied around your throat so you can't breathe.
You can't run
You're drowning in the afternoon
and in the morning
and the only break allowing you to breathe
is when your thoughts escape elsewhere,
It doesn't hurt
when your eyes are shut
It doesn't feel like you're
destined to lose.
'the things you love don't always love you back'
they say,
well I guess they're right.
I chase sleep like a lover and
it leaves me cold and alone,
awake at the hours where the stars shine the brightest.
this is a blessing and a curse
I am able to see the most beautiful masterpiece of the night,
but when the sun comes up
I am not even half prepared for the day.
a ghost
desperate to find a skin that fits
