It's a Jungle, Baby

Nightmares

I'm back with Duff. I'm not quite sure where we are, we're in a huge house with boxes everywhere. I mean I only have one choice to assume it's our house. I carry a box into the house but Duff instantly takes it from me revealing my enlarged stomach, I'm pregnant. He puts the box on the floor by my feet and puts his hand on my stomach.

"It's my job to take care of you, both of you." He kisses the top of my head. "Let's take a break."

"Sweetie, there's still more in the truck." I say and he brushes it off.

"Let the boys take care of it." Duff says pulling me to the couch.

He rolls up my shirt so you can see my stomach.

"Hey, baby." He says softly. "I'm your daddy, I helped make you."

"Duff." I complain and he winks.

"I'm an awesome bass player, from the biggest band of the planet. Maybe you've heard of them, Guns N Roses." Duff laughs. "I guess you can't hear a lot in there, can you? Your mom is prefect, she's this bad ass soccer player and she's crazy beautiful. I met her because she was a hooker."

"Duff!" I say try to cover the baby's ears, he laughs.

"That means they try to make you for money." Duff tells my stomach, then he looks up to me. "I'm kidding." He sits up beside me. "I love you, it's like we're a happy little family. Still hate the white picket fence?"

"I wouldn't call this a white picket fence house." I say looking around the house.

"I'd say that to, I love you." Duff says, kissing my forehead.

"I love you to." I say and he puts his hand on my stomach again.

"I love you, as well."

We're asleep in this big bed when my stomach starts to hurt. The pain shoots through my abdomen as I sit up. Duff wakes up when I move.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"My stomach." I say and I move the covers to see a pool of blood. I go numb.

"I'm calling an ambulance." Duff says running out of the room.

I had lost the baby.

I wake up with a start. I sit up in the room in Italy, it's the early morning of my last game. We've had a better streak here, out of three games played we only lost one. We play number four today.

I run my hand along my stomach, just to make sure. This dream just adds to the things of scared of in motherhood. Birthing a baby, losing a baby, screwing up a baby, having my husband leave me because he didn't want kids in the first place. That's just my mom and my dad's ways intruding on my life. I know in my heart that one day Duff wants kids, I just hope he knows what he's getting into.

I roll over and face the bedside table, there's a framed picture of Duff and I. Queenie had taken it at the Pier. We were just about to get in trouble for making out in the arcade. That's what I loved about being with Duff. He makes me not care what people are thinking, I mean we make out in the middle of crowded bars and arcades. I never had that where you don't care who's around, you love that person and you want to show the world that.

I debate of calling him, I know what he's going to say. It's three o'clock in the morning, why are you still up? You need to get rest of your game today. I love him and I know he just has my best interest in my mind.

I roll over on my stomach, leaving the picture on the other pillow. I close my eyes and try to fall back asleep.