It's a Jungle, Baby

Piss Sticks

I walk into the bathroom of my apartment and see a pink box. I pick it up to examine it and see piss sticks, pregnancy test. I sure as hell didn't buy them. Pick them up off the counter and slide them into my pocket and go to find Chelsea.

Has she hooked up with anyone lately? The last person I remember was Professor Davis and that wasn't since April, we're now nearing the end of May. I don't remember her walking in with anyone late at night but then again if it was after a gig, I don't remember a lot.

I look down at my boot, Duff takes me to the doctors today to see if it's healed properly and do I ever hope it has. I'm tired of only wearing one shoe, I'm tired of taking it off when I shower then fighting to put it on afterwards, I'm tired of sounding like a Titan as I walk down the stairs. I feel like it's healed the way it should because I've tired walking on it, that was cut short due to the fact that the band just walks in as they please. Steven had freaked out and picked me up by my shoulders and sat on me as punishment, yeah he's kinda weird.

I walk into the kitchen where Chelsea is making something, I'm more worried about the fact that she might be knocked up. She sees me out of the corner of her eye and turns around.

"Hey." I say simply as I hear the door open behind me as Duff walks in with Izzy, they wave and go to the couch.

"Hey." She says as the TV goes on.

"Anything you want to tell me?" I wonder and she shrugs, Chelsea has a great poker face.

"No why, is there anything you want to tell me?" Chelsea wonders.

"No but there is something I want to ask you." I say and she nods.

"Okay shoot." She says going back to her pan, I pull the pink box out of the back pocket of my shorts.

"Why the hell is there piss sticks in the bathroom?" I wonder and Chelsea doesn't turn around. "I didn't buy them and I guarantee the boys didn't buy them, that leaves you."

Chelsea turns around and grabs the pink box from my hand and throws it into the nearest drawer, slamming it shut but they boys don't notice. I think they're partially deaf, what? I can almost hear them asking. Queenie turns around and points at me, she walks back until I run into the counter.

"You tell anyone and I'll kill you. You're the only one who knows." She hisses.

"Alright, alright, just lay off the third degree. Is it Davis'?" I wonder.

"No." Chelsea says simply. "I won't tell him until I know it's positive."

"Yeah, avoid a war." I mutter and she smiles.

Duff

I walk into Taylor's apartment and see something that scarers the absolute hell out of me. Poking out of Taylor's back pocket (yes that means I was looking at her ass, I'm her boyfriend, get over it) is a pink box of pregnancy tests. The breathe is taken from my lungs, Taylor might be pregnant? I might've gotten Taylor pregnant? Oh shit. I'm not ready to be a dad! I'm an alcoholic bass player, for Christ's Sake! My luck it'd be a girl and I'd name it Vodka...That might actually work.

But then it hits me in a ton of brick. It'd be mine, mine and Taylor's. That doesn't scare me so much, yeah it still scares me but I'd be leaving if it was anyone else. I slump on the couch and run my hands through my hair.

Izzy turns on the TV to old reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard, I told Taylor, Axl, and Izzy that this is how I picture Lafayette, they nearly killed me. Thank god for Taylor. Izzy looks over to me.

"What's up with you man? You haven't commented on how much Hazzard is like Indiana yet." He wonders and I run my hand through my hair again.

"When we walked in there we piss sticks in Taylor's back pocket." I explain and his eyes go big.