KIK •Harry x Louis•

53

(Guys I cried while writing this chapter, okay? No trigger warnings because nothing like that happened just... Lots of depression. I don't know why I'm crying because I'm the one who wrote this. LISTEN TO THE SONG UP TOP PLEASE.)

-THREE WEEKS LATER-

(58 days)

Inside of the apartment that the two boys shared was quiet compared to other days and it's probably because Louis decided to sleep in while his boyfriend went to work the morning shift earlier. He didn't even know that Harry had set the alarm to a certain time so it started blasting a song at ten thirty in the morning.

"Harry turn it the hell off." He moaned, hearing the song 'Heartbreak Girl' play by 5sos. Remembering that Harry had went to work, he sat up and huffed, scooting to Harry's side of the bed, reaching over and unplugging the alarm.

When he sat up it was apparently way to quick because he got dizzy and his stomach flipped. Louis blinked a few times, adjusting to the sunlight streaming through the windows.

He ran his fingers through his messy bed hair and stood up, letting the covers fall to the floor as he reached for his phone, taking it off the charger. No messages or missed calls. Harry wouldn't be back until five in the afternoon so he was basically bored here all day.

Louis hated when Harry went to work because he hated being alone, he hated being without Harry in general but still, it was way to quiet. Also for some reason, Harry had been distant for the past week or so but Louis tried not to think to much about it.

They didn't even cuddle last night, though. When Louis went to lay on him, Harry turned and faced opposite from Louis making him feel rejected. He didn't even kiss Louis goodbye when he left this morning.

At that thought Louis wanted to cry because he thought that Harry had gotten tired of him already. Even Zayn wont answer the phone calls anymore and his mom didn't visit last week. He felt alone like he did a long time ago.

The boy held back his tears, or at least tried to, as he slid into one of Harry's sweaters and headed down stairs to make himself some tea. He didn't even want anything to eat because he was sad and when he's sad, he looses his appetite.

Louis kept thinking about Harry and how Niall came over the other day and he was basically being ignored, Niall talking more to Louis than Harry did. Has he even smiled this past week? Now that Louis thinks about it, the only time he smiled was when Niall came over.

It was official. Louis thought Harry got tired of him and his heart broke just thinking about it. The mug he was got out of the cupboard accidentally dropped when his body shook, a sob leaving his lips. He didn't even acknowledge the pain in his foot, to focused on the pain in his heart.

He dropped down to the floor, not caring that there was a piece of glass in his foot. He just placed his hands on his face and sobbed into them because the thought of Harry never loving him again broke him to pieces.

His chest heaved up and down and he felt it coming. A panic attack. He hasn't had one ever since Harry came into his life but here he was, his chest hurting because he wasn't breathing properly. He wanted Harry and just as he was about to reach for his phone, he decided not to.

He didn't want to bother Harry anymore. Instead he dialed his mothers number and it went straight to voicemail. By now his heart was pounding against his chest. He dialed Lotties number next.

She answered on the first ring. "Louis, whats wrong?" She asked automatically because she knew Louis wouldn't call for anything that wasn't serious. "Louis, please breathe." She whispered hearing his breaths.

"Lottie-- I can't" He continued to cry, now noticing the cut in his foot.

"Louis, listen to me. Take deep breaths for me okay. You're only making it worse right now. Just tell yourself it's a panic attack, it will go away soon. Remember you're not dying Lou. Acknowledge and accept." She said softly. She's seen Louis go through so many of these and she and mom always helped.

"O-okay." He whimpered doing what she told. Shaking a bit as he tried to convince himself it was only a panic attack. It helped a little.

"Wait and watch, Lou. Just try to come yourself down okay? You know how you like feeling your fingers go though your hair? Do that. It'll soothe you and make you feel more comfortable." She said in a shaky voice, actually scared for her brother because it's been so long since this happened. "Just keep repeating the steps Louis, okay? I'm right here."

Louis nodded, although he couldn't see her and did all the steps. Eventually he calmed down, his body still slightly shaking though. He now felt like he was weak, like if he stood his legs would wobble. "Thank you, Lottie." He whispered, playing with his sweater.

"No problem, Louis. I'm always here, okay? Always. Call me anytime. Care to tell me what triggered this panic attack?" She asked the question quietly.

"Just feeling lonely since Harry went to work is all." Louis lied and cringed when he did because he never lied to her. He told her everything. "I have to clean up now. I dropped a mug."

"Call me later tonight okay, Lou? I wanna make sure you're alright." By the way her voice cracked, Louis knew she was trying not to cry. "I love you."

"I love you more, Lott. Talk to you later, okay?" They hung up and Louis checked out his foot, seeing a medium sized piece of white glass in the middle of his foot. He winced and pulled it out quickly, not wanting to suffer from pulling it out slowly.

Blood started coming out so he stood, his legs shaky, and he grabbed a long rag, wrapping it around his foot and tying it there. He made sure the sleeves to Harry's long jumper were rolled up so no stains would get on it.

Again, Harry's name shot a pain through his chest and he closed his eyes tightly, limping over to the kitchen table and placing himself in the seat. His body felt tired and worn out from crying so much and that panic attack took so much energy from him.

Too tired to even clean up or stand, he folded his arms and placed his head into his arms, thinking about Harry once more then crying himself to sleep. Just like old times.

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bYE IM SO SAD. OKAY SO COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK IS WRONG WITH HARRY.

I actually cried bye. i can't believe i cried and i dONT CRY. Well I do but you get the point... I think.