Life had been weird for y/n recently. She couldn't seem to find peace in anything. Maybe it's because she's been off her meds - she knows she should be taking them. Maybe it's because she keeps getting flashbacks to her past relationship, her second ever relationship. The one that made her know she never wanted to date again. Afterall, sure the good parts are good, they can be magical. But the bad left her bleeding, sobbing, begging for attention and apologising when it was her who deserved one. She held those thoughts deep in her heart and they haunted her at night.
But with Kuroo holding her, right now, she caged those thoughts. Not all men are bad. It's not like she's trying to date him or he's trying to date her, she just has a crush. Teenage foolery - falling head over heels for any guy that shows her a glimpse of attention. It's pathetic, really. She should have higher standards than that, she does, or did. Why does she keep lowering them for stupid teenage boys who only want one thing?
Her first love had broke her heart completely. Cheated on her, treated her like shit, made her feel like she was going crazy. He's long out of her life now, but sometimes, she gets the urge to check his socials. Make sure he hasn't got a new girlfriend - not because she's jealous, not at all. Because she doesn't ever want another girl to be treated the same way she was.
Her ex was a man-child, really. Looking back on it she never should have met him, should have listened to all of her friend's warnings - but she didn't, and she ended up paying the price. The least she could do now was warn the next girl. And the next, and the next, until the end of time.
Her most recent relationship had became equally as tragic. Hidden chats, spiralling nights crying and begging to be heard. They were good at the start, so good. They travelled to the beach together, they got drunk together, they had deep talks and had so many goals they wanted to achieve together. But he was older, 21, and they both had different views on the world.
He would hurt her sometimes, they'd play fight a lot, always ending with her crying because of the pain. One time he punched her arm in a specific area and she couldn't move it for days afterwards. The pain had shot through her, but she didn't leave. Not yet. It was an accident. A few days later they were throwing socks at eachother - not the floppy soft kind, the balled up, hard kind. He stood up and got close and threw it directly at her face. It hit her nose and and screamed in pain - immediately having the worst nosebleed of her life (and the first one in 5+ years), her vision cloudy and bitter.
But he could be so kind. The look in his eyes when he stared down at her, the blood dripping into the tissue he had gotten for her, was so full of remorse, worry and slight fear. He moved her from his bed into his gaming chair, lifting her head backwards and holding the tissue to her nose whilst telling her what to do, using his spare hand to stroke her hair.
Those sweet moments, the ones where they cuddled and talked about the future, nothing but love in their eyes as they stared at eachother - they literally haunt y/n. Maybe one day she'll get over it and accept that not all guys would treat her that way, but she wasn't going to be realising that today.
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So like I got distracted lowkey wanted to vent sorry guys, true story btw (I haven't left the second guy yet :@)
24.07.26
YOU ARE READING
Kuroo x reader (HAIKYU FANFIC)
Fiksi PenggemarY/N L/N is the manager of Karasuno high boys volleyball team, she's a second year and all she's ever wanted was to be perfect. Feeling behind in her sport and love life, she turns to drastic measures to become the girl she's always wanted to be-no m...
