Prior Knowledge: Falling for my

38.

Brittny

So, where should I start? I'm sitting on the bus and taking the familiar route to school. Same as last year. Ah, last year. The memories still haunt me. Who would've thought that in the course of a year, I would become a mother? Definitely not me. That was actually the last thing I thought would ever happen to me. But I also thought that I would be forever alone, until Jacob came along. My teacher. Dang. I'll make sure to keep my distance from many attractive teachers this year. Then there's Diggy. Diggy, Diggy, Diggy. I'd never thought in a million years that we would become step-siblings, let alone Friends. But at the moment, I don't consider Diggy a friend or a human. I haven't seen him since the night Teresa came. I still can't forget the way he was eying me. All honesty, it was a turn on, but Diggy is not going to fuck up what me and Jacob have again. I was stupid enough to take it as far as sleeping with him, and that's never happening again. If I could do everything over, I would. To brighten things a little, My mom has been a lot happier these days. Just the other night she was talking nonsense about moving in with Joey. Was I expecting this, you ask? Of course, I knew it was gonna be brought up some time during their engagement. Just not this soon. It's only been a week since he proposed, but they've been together for a year.... So, yeah.

I sat on the first bus just anxious for the new year. I stared out the window watching as cars rode pass. All I've been thinking about since this mourning, was making up with Brandy. I still can't believe I came out that blunt with her. I feel so disappointed in myself. I know that jealousy kicked in when I made that comment. I need to learn how to hide my emotions. I wonder if she'll even forgive me? She probably will. It's not that big of a deal is it? It's not enough to end our friendship... I think? I decided to let the thought pass my mind. I sat back and relaxed as I waited for the bus to pull up in front of my school.

I walked through the double doors to Patterson high school and almost immediately people were pointing fingers and whispering about me. I guess they've seen the news.

"It's that Brittny girl... A damn hoe." A Girl whispered to some other girl. She must be dumb as shit if she thought I didn't hear her. No one has the right to call me out of my name anymore. I've been through too much for anymore disrespect.

"Excuse me" I tapped her. "Yes, I am Brittny and if there's anything you have to say about me, there's no need to whisper. And by the way, You're horrible at it." By the look on her face you can tell she was shocked. Hell. I was shocked myself! Where the hell did these sudden balls come from? A year ago girls would say and do things 10x more horrible than what this girl just said and this time I actually stood up for myself! Go Brittny! The girls rolled their eyes at me and went on their way. I felt a sudden burden lift off my shoulders. I looked around me and saw that people where talking about the little scene that just went down. 'Yeah, I said it' I thought to myself. New year new me, as they say. And I'm not gonna be taken advantage of this year.

Clearing my throat and Ignoring the many stares I was recieving, I got my composure together then started to walk down the hall to the auditorium where the first day of school assembly will be held. I join the small crowd of people who are walking into the auditorium a little late. A lump in my throat bulged when I saw him deep in the crowd. I couldn't get a full glance of him because the crowd got larger, but it wasn't hard to notice that he was looking fly like always. I wanted to say something to him, but seeing that he was with her, made me stop. He made his way through the crowd with Her holding onto his hand. This streak of rage and jealousy came over me. Rage because I saw her, and Jealousy because I saw her with him. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I thought I was over him?

My heart immediately began thumping when he glanced my way. I quickly removed my eyes from his direction to make it seem nonchalant, but too late. I couldn't resist to see if he was still looking over at me. Thank goodness he wasn't, but it looked like he was holding back from staring at me. Like he's trying his best to avoid me. I guess me and him both are trying to avoid each other.