Angel (muke)

Chapter 2 - Alone

Luke's pov

  Once I got off the bus I began to walk home. The Stars were beginning to peak their way into view as the sky darkened. The street lamps switched on, casting it's Erie light onto the sidewalk.
  I shivered and stuffed my hands into the pockets of my ripped skinny jeans. I should've worn a jacket.
  My phone began to buzz in my pants pocket. figuring it was Ashton calling I pulled my hand out of my pocket, cringing as the cold air hit my skin and pulled out my phone.

  "Hello?"
"Lllllluuuukkkkeeeyyy!!!" Ashton screamed into the phone making my ear ring.
"What do you want?" I asked already getting annoyed.
"I'm bored so I was wondering if I could come over...we could order pizza and watch mean girls!"
"Derek might be home... I don't know..." I cringed at the thought of my boyfriend.
"It'll be okay lukey!! Pleeaassee!"
Sighing, I gave in.
"Thank you thank you thank you!!! I'll be over in 5!!" And with that he hung up.
I walked up to my door and walked inside. The warm air hit my cold arms and I moaned at the feeling.
  "Derek, I'm home babe." I yelled into the house while kicking off my boots next to the door.
No reply. That's strange, he should be home by now.
  Derek and I had only been together for almost a year and we decided to move in together. We've had somewhat of a rocky relationship where we'd always seem to be arguing. Sometimes things would be thrown and at times one of us would be the one to walk out.  But we always ended up coming back. I guess I always came back because I thought I loved him... I keep telling myself that Derek came back for the same reason but deep down I knew it was only because he had no place to go.
  Last night was practically like every night. We fought, occasionally one of us threw something at the other (aiming for the head , since I had bad aim he never got hit but when he threw something he never missed my head.), and then one of us would walk out; in this case Derek.
    "Derek?" I yelled again before going further into the house.
  Everything was quiet...too quiet for my liking.
He wasn't in the kitchen and living room so I headed upstairs to the bedrooms.  The  guest bedroom was empty and so was the bathroom so I entered our bedroom.
   On the bed was a folded up piece of paper with my name in neat cursive handwriting...his handwriting...
  Slowly, I picked up the note and opened it up, holding my breath.

    ' dear pathetic Luke,
I'm done, we're over. I'm sick and tired of you. I've never loved you and who could blame me, no one does. Don't worry, you'll never see my face again because I never want to see yours.
                  Sincerely your ex
                          Derek'

  Tears began to slide down my cheeks as a sob escaped my throat. I dropped the letter and rushed to the drawers. Pulling the drawers out, finding only my clothes and not his. I rushed to the closet. Empty hangers and my clothes.
"Nonononono..." I kept muttering  as I pulled at my hair, ruining my once perfect quiff. I backed up till I hit the wall and slid down as a sob escaped my throat.
He left me...he...he left me. How can he leave me? I thought he loved me and he just left...
He's right. I am pathetic. I fall in love so easily...
  The door bell rang but I didn't plan to get up. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my forehead upon them. I tugged on my hair and sobbed. My tears soaking into my jeans.
  "Luke?" Ashton yelled. I heard footsteps going up the stairs and to my room.
Shit.
"Luke?" Ashton whispered soothingly as he knelt down next to me and wrapped his arms around me.  I wrapped my arms around him and began to sob harder as he rubbed circles on my back. 
"Lukey what happened?" He asked in a soothing tone.
"De-Derek ... He-he le-left m-me..." I sobbed into his shoulder.
"It's okay lukey... He doesn't know what he's giving up. He's a jerk, you deserve so much more than him....it's ok lukey, everything's gonna be ok..."
I tried my very best to calm down but it was nearly impossible. My chest tightened and my throat felt as if it was closing up. I dug my nails into Ashton's shirt, tugging at it desperately.
Ashton squeezed his arms around me tighter and began rocking me back and forth. "It's ok Luke , your having a panic attack, just breathe like we practiced....it's ok, everything's gonna be ok, I've got you, it'd be over soon just keep taking deep breaths..." Ashton said shakily as he pulled me closer to him.

Derek left me...he left me like everyone else in my life...I'm so pathetic. I actually thought he cared. I always fall so easily... I'm alone once again...I'm alone.