Sweethearts

Dreams of Reality

                I felt myself drifting away again. Back into sleep and far away from the tragedy of my life.

                Back into the dream that I want to be living in.

                The past week I laid in bed dreaming of Kendall. Dreams of us falling in love. Some of them seemed so real that I thought I thought his death was a dream and this was reality. But every time I woke up.

                I had a dream that we were on the playground again during his funeral. I couldn’t manage to get out of bed that day, so instead I dreamt while they lowered is body into the ground.

                “Olivia? How are you feeling?” I heard Derrick’s voice as he opened the door.

                I looked at the wall I had been staring at for the past week.

                “Olivia? Vicki called today, she wants you to help her clean out her apartment. I think you should call her back, she’s devastated.” Derrick continued talking.

                He had been trying to talk to me for the past few days even though I never responded.

                “Miranda called here too. She says she is sorry for everything. She wanted to know if she could stop by later?”

                I still said nothing.

                I heard him take a deep breath and he put his hands to his face. “Olivia, I’m trying here. I really am, but I don’t know what to do. I can barely hold myself together and now I have to help you. My best friend died, Olivia. Kendall died and I can’t take it anymore. Please just talk to me about it. I don’t think I can hold it in anymore.” He grabbed my hand and I felt tears dripped onto my skin.

                I pulled it away and sat up in my bed. “I can’t, Derrick. If I do it’s official. I can’t go help Vicki because I’ll be clearing away his things. That’s like throwing him away, Derrick. I don’t want to see Miranda because she’s the reason I came here. If I didn’t come here he would still be alive! And I don’t want to see you because this all started with you!” It all rushed out of my mouth, and I wished I had said nothing instead.

                Derrick looked like I had just slapped him. He nodded his head slightly and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I am. But there is someone I want you to talk to. He could really help. He can come later today if you want. I’ll go- go call Vicki and Miranda. I can tell them you aren’t feeling well. I’ll bring you dinner in about an hour.” He stood up and walked out of my room.

                He closed the door and left me in darkness. Nothing but myself and my dreams of Kendall.