Matt Murdock Shorts

Scarlet Watcher

So this is a rewrite of a chapter from years ago. I reread it, then rewrote it, and took it from 18 to 56 pages. So it's basically a new chapter. Initially a request from @angryangel61, if they're still out there. 
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The Avengers Compound is... daunting. It's a thought you had when you drove in, and it's a thought you have now, as you walk through the doors, Bucky at your side. Not so long ago, nothing was daunting. There was only the mission. There was success or failure. There was torture upon failure. There was success.

Success meant people were dead. Success meant you got to forget.

Ever since Bucky found you and took you under his metal arm (in lieu of the proverbial wing), things have become daunting. Getting out of bed. Going to the grocery store. Whole milk or skim? Reading or television? Black shirt or white? Success or failure? It doesn't matter when success is yours to define.

No, that's not right. It matters for the first time. Success means you get to remember.

Bucky watches you with eyes tuned to assess and categorize every behavior. You're good at hiding things, but so is he. He remembers his first time here with Steve. He remembers how foreign the curving glass and steel was. Clean, sleek, like everyone who called this place a training ground or home. Everything he wasn't. Or so he thought, at the time. Could be confirmation bias, but your silence tells him more than words ever could.

"Hey, you doin' okay?" Your affirmative answer is too quick. He finally understands how Steve felt all those years ago, desperate to help someone committed to internalizing every small thing. "You don't have to talk about it, but I'm here if you want to. I remember how overwhelming all this was at first."

You glance over at Bucky. The way he reads you is uncanny at times. He's also the first person who has cared to try. Either way, you aren't used to it.

"Thanks for doing this," you tell him, instead of confirming his assessment. Whether you like it or not, your avoidance likely told him as much, anyway.

"I'm glad I can help. Might as well put our shared experience to use. Better than waking up in a sweat, wishing for insomnia."

You sit with that confession for a moment. Sometimes his openness makes it hard to believe he went through everything you did. "You have the dreams too?"

"It's a common enough story for people who went through the kind of violence and manipulation we did."

"You forgot the part where we were the ones doling out the violence."

"I didn't. It's important to take responsibility for our actions, but it's as important to realize when we weren't in control."

"You've been spending too much time with Steve. You're starting to sound like him."

Bucky snorts. "Not the worst person to sound like, if you ask me. He has that effect. Watch, 6 months from now, you're going to be in a unitard spouting bullshit too."

That finally gets a laugh out of you. "You telling me you've got one on under there? Now, this I have to see."

"See it when you join the team." He shrugs.

A voice comes from behind you before you can respond. "Who's joining the team?" None other than Tony Stark sidles up to you, extending a hand. "Tony, in case you didn't know. I kind of designed and funded all this."

Bucky takes the opportunity to cut off Tony's gloating and flirting by introducing you. "Hydra put her through the same programming as me. I brought her here to see if any of Shuri's research can help her."