The Brightest Dark (Harry Styles) BOOK 1

Chapter 49

*Harry's POV*

I settle down in my desk chair inside my little office in the apartment. My hands fiddle with the many letters piled onto my desk, all written by me to that girl who will never know the truth. But I can't send them, they'll destroy her even more than I already am. All in honesty, I hate Kian, but he makes her joyful so I have to accept them together.

Maybe it's because these millions of words I've written for her will never be shared to her. I'm frightened that one day I'll realize she'll never know the truth and I'll have to sit in silence for the rest of my life. Watching my one love, desire someone else. It's crushing, these thousands of words thrown to the side, never to be read. The only person who's ever read them will be me, I've read these days and days. This game is frustrating me, causing me stress and I won't be able to stand it any longer. Yet, I still can't bring myself to separate their relationship.

I grab my pen and a new sheet of paper. Every evening that I have time on my hand, I'll write to her. Even if she'll never read them, I'll always pretend that some day she will.

My pen hits the paper, but I can't find any other words to say. I sit the pen back down and just stare at the blank page. What else could I possibly tell her, I've spoken about everything.

At that moment, my phone buzzes.

"We need to go to the studio tonight for the songs revising," Niall texts.

"Okay, I'll be there by 10 tonight," I respond.

With a huff, I go back to blankly staring at the page. When nothing comes to mind, I decide to open one of the older letters to see what I've said.

I unlock my phone again and play some of The Fray, to relax my mind. If only I could do something so courageous that'll I'll get her attention and she'll see how much I need her. How much I miss her and love her.

As the song plays on, a thought comes to my mind. And my hand begins to work its way on the page with the pen.

I may have just found the courageous idea...

*Lina's POV*

The door opens and I notice my cousin Jay walk in. He notices the tears on my face and quickly closes the door before grabbing me into a hug.

"What's wrong?" He whispers.

I wrap my arms around his tiny torso and sob into his shoulder. He's crouched down to my level, with a worried expression.

He's a close cousin of mine, even if he's 27, we don't even care for the age difference. Mostly we don't even notice it. For the past year we haven't been so close, but we would keep in contact at times. After all, he's like an older brother of mine.

"My ex sent these," I let go of him.

My crying comes to a stop and my hand reaches my face to wipe the tears away. Jay eyes the flowers and opened presents, he seems as shocked as me.

"Wow, Harry?" He raises his eyebrows.

I frown, "how do you know him?"

He gives a sympathetic smile, "your mom kind of told me."

"Of course, she just can't keep her mouth shut," anger builds up.

"I can't believe he sent these, especially after he did to you. I'd think he would know better to interfere with your life again," he shakes his head.

"It surprises me too, not only that, but it also saddens me," I admit, "I still miss him."

"No, you shouldn't. He's a dickhead and you should never even think about this dude ever again," he responds.

"But it's not that easy to just forget someone," my voice lowers, "especially not after all the memories you've had with them."

He sighs, "look, I've been in love like this before. A lot of people think they're in love at first, but after a long period of time, you begin to forget them," he lays a hand on my back.

"It's been a year," I groan.

"It's going to take longer than that. It'll be hard for the first year, but it will get easier. I promise," he soothes me down.

"How do you know for sure?"

"Because you have a man out there named Kian who literally gives you his all. He loves you to death and I've seen it in his eyes ever since you two were little," a small smile forms on his lips, "the way he would do anything for you, even when you commanded him to wear a dress for you."

I laugh, remembering that memory. We had been playing a tea party and I wanted him to be a princess with me. He didn't even disagree or hesitate, he just got into the dress with a big grin. That boy did everything I told him to do.

"I never realized till he told me," I honestly say.

"God, Lina. You should really open your eyes more. Even as big as they are, you seem to not be aware of your surroundings," he chuckles.

"Hey, don't make fun of my eyes," I laugh through the pain in my chest.

Jay stops laughing as his eyes travel to the hundreds of flowers. Harry spent way too much on my gift and I would pay him back, but I can barely afford to buy a new car since mine is breaking down, with only duck tape holding it together inside the engine.

"So, what are you going to do?" He questions.

"Thank Harry and the boys, acting like any other friend would. They're all my friends," my finger runs over the soft petal on a rose.

"Friend zoning Harry," he shortens up.

"Well, he never implied that he wanted me back. He wrote in a page that he rather want me to be with Kian cause he's a better guy," I shrug.

"That's what all boys say, just to seem nice," he rolls his eyes

"Really?"

"Hell yea, I've done it before too," he chuckles.

"Nice to know," I nod.

"Just try not to let him into your life again. Don't even think of him because obviously it's destroying you from the inside," he pokes my arm.

I stay silent, he knows me too well. He knows it is eating my insides as I keep Harry on my mind. Just like a drug does, it eats away everything till you lose your mind.

"It's not a choice I can just make," I inhale.

"Yes you can, when you set your mind to something, it can happen," he states.

"And what if it never does? What if I'm in love with him, what if all of this isn't right?" I question.

"Are you happier now or were you happier then?" He raises his eyebrows.

I look into his eyes, hesitating. I couldn't choose, I'd hurt everyone including myself. It'll make me seem like a faker and a horrid person. That's something I never want to be, not like my older exes.

He sighs, "just wait this out, okay? If this isn't right, then you'll know when the time is right."

"What if it takes years to know what I'm doing is right or wrong?" I put hand to my forehead.

"You'll just have to wait and see then," he shrugs.

I exhale deeply and close my eyes for a second, trying to relax my body. I need to stop bringing him into my head, he's ruining me. I love Kian, he's my one true love...