East Of Eden

Chapter 15

Nathan's Point Of View

"So, tomorrow?" Amy asks. "Yes, tomorrow." I confirm. "What if she doesn't get jealous, or what if she doesn't pay attention, or she's absent?" Amy shoots questions at me. "Well if she's absent or not paying attention, then people will tell her. And if she doesn't get jealous and want me back...then I guess I'll have to move on." My heart literally aches at the thought of the women I'm in love with not caring for me. I'm so nervous to do this in front of everyone. Everyday for about a couple weeks I've been hanging out with Jozlyn and texting her. I gag at the thought of kissing her again. I surprised she still even talks to me after I moaned Holly's name while making out with her a few days ago. I'm so glad Holly not on our Art class for many reasons. One, is that I don't have to fucking drool every second over. Two, is Jozlyn would have chatted Holly's ear off about how me and her are "talking" and that's not how I wanted the plan to go.

I'm going to ask Jozlyn out in front of the whole high school body, just to make my Holly jealous. Wow I'm the worst boyfriend in the world. Ex-boyfriend I remind myself. Fuck! The thought makes me sick. As of now I can't grab her or hold her or kiss her or make love to her.

The next day I spray axe across my chest and crack my neck out to relax my muscles. "I'm going to ask out Jozlyn." I say to myself. Saying that makes me laugh since I was jacking off to Holly last night. When I get to school I go straight to the coffee stand to stalk Holly with her friends at there usual morning spot. When I reach it Amy, Julie, Lexi, and Kim are there, but Holly isn't. I'm a little disappointed, but I grab a cup from the stand and pour steaming coffee to the tip of my cup. Amy whispers in my ear away from her friends, "Are you still going to do it?" "If she even shows." I tell her. She lets out a deep breath, in relief?

After the bell rings we all head to the gym for the pep-rally. My nerves are beyond impossible to control. When I don't see Holly in the bleachers next to her friends, I begin to relax. It's not going to happen today. After announcements and doing the pledge of allegiance, all of the performing arts clubs start to present. The varsity cheerleaders show off their new routine and the dance team does the same dance they've been doing for years. Then the doors at the front of gym open wide and my beautiful love walks through the door. She seems to be frantic and she paces across the the side of the gym and up on the bleachers to sit with her friends. I quickly get up and race down the steps of the bleachers to announce to the school about my "love" for Jozlyn. The pep rally coordinator hands me a microphone and I look up at the crowd. I speak and my voice echoes through the gym. It's weird a sound, but I say, "Hey, I know this is stupid, but can Jozlyn please come down here." Jozlyn pops up from the stands and makes her way down to the gym floor. She stands across from me and I put on my best show and utter through the microphone, "Jozlyn...." I don't what to say. "I know we have only known each other for a few weeks now, but I already know that I'm falling for you." I lie. I completely lie. I look up to see if Holly is watching, but she has her face turned from us. I continue and ask, "Will you be my girlfriend?" Everyone pathetic enough to think I have moved on from my perfect girlfriend says "awe". Jozlyn nods her head at me and she jumps into me kissing me. I lift her up in a hug and pretend she's Holly. When I open my eyes I see Holly speed walking across the gym. When she reaches her she turns to look at me and tears are falling down her beautiful face. I have caused her to cry. I feel like such an asshole. Who in the fucking world would do that to the person they love? I let go of Jozlyn. She looks up at me smiling a boring smile and I look into her dull eyes. I literally feel nothing for this girl and now she's my "girlfriend". "Um, excuse me." I tell Jozlyn and leave her alone as I walk out the gym to chase after Holly. I walk through the halls and I even call out for her in the girls bathroom, but she isn't anywhere. I check the student parking lot and her truck is no where to be found. I start to panic. Where the hell is she?! Where did she go?! My hearts starts to be out of my chest. I rush back inside the gym to grab my backpack and keys to go look, but Jozlyn runs into me. "Hey." She smiles. "Hi." I say short and stern. "Let's go get breakfast?" She asks. "Um." I don't know what to say. I really don't want to be in a relationship with her. I don't even know why the hell I did it in the first place! I just need to end it now before anything else happens. If I want to get back with the love of my life, I need to stop pretending to fall in love with someone else when in all honestly I am not even close to that. I turn to her and hold her down by her shoulders trying to get all of her attention. "Jozlyn." I Start. "We need to break up." I tell her. "What?!" She utters. "We just got together!" She protests. "Yeah, but the only reason I got together with you is to make the real women I love jealous and now I'm worried as hell cause I have no idea where she is!" I explain.

I left her speechless and probably heart broken in the gym, but I really don't care about that right now. I needed to be honest with her, I at least owe that to her. When I get into my mustang I instantly head for her house to see if she's there. When I reach her street I notice her truck isn't in the driveway or on the side of the road. I ring the doorbell just in case. Nick flings the door open with tired eyes like he had just woken up. "Nathan?" He questions. "Yeah. Is Holly here?" I try to make my self as calm as possible. "No? Holly!?" He yells through out the house to call for her. No response. "No, dude, sorry. Why don't you call her? She should be at school." He tells me. "Okay, thanks." Is all I say. I hop back in my car and dial her number to call her. It goes straight to voicemail. What the hell where is she?! I feel like something is so wrong. I swear to God, if she does something reckless.