4 month had passed.
Nothing has happened since then honestly...
Hell I hadn't even left the house.
Once...
I think I left once and that was because the mail man left a parcel at the end of the drive.
I'd stopped speaking about everything.
I didn't speak to no one.
My dad decided that drinking helped him more than speaking. Maybe I should try that.
I stopped communication.
My phone was in my bottom draw near my bed. Useless to me.
It's August 21st right now, at the heart of summer... I wish.
" You've just left school shouldn't you be out somewhere drinking and having the summer of your life without worrys " was near enough the last thing my mum said.
I wish she was here to say it again.
---------------------------------------------
I turned over and looked at the clock on my wall above my door, 2:30pm.
Everyday since... Just since, Lucy has came to my house to try to make me get up, move, eat, communicate even.
I'd explain how I didn't think after everything Lucy would be the one still here for me, I thought I honestly have closer friends but after.... Everything, she has been the only person to non stop visit me.
My bedroom door is locked, it's stay locked for about a week now, the only time I've moved from my bed was to walk to my bathroom to get a drink of bathroom water...
I heard my front door close.
Which obviously means Lucy has arrived.
She started just letting herself in now when she gets here.
My dads never here... Or too drunk to hear the door, and ... Again... I haven't moved since.
I suppose your detecting a problem ? About my bedroom door remaining closed.
That's as far as she's came to me in a long long time.
She sits outside. And talks. She try's to get me to get up and unlock the door but I've never wanted to deal with sympathy faces. I've seen enough.
' hey Lilly ? ' I heard her voice from outside my room.
' you still in there ? ' again. ' please make some form of anything just so I know you're listening to me ? ' she begged.
Nothing.
' well your dad isn't home so I was just wondering if you would open your door today ? I've brought you some food ? A couple drinks other than your bathroom water... ' she paused ' maybe we could also talk about what's going on outside so you don't fall out of the loop ? '
Falling out of the ' loop ' isn't my biggest concern right now. But she's trying.
' well everyone had sort of dropped out of contact since school finished ... ' she began ' that guy I was telling you about, urm well yeh, we don't talk anymore, he was getting really ... Needy obsessive '
She was quite for a while after this until she again began
' have you been eating Lilly ? I know how you're feeling and what it must be like going through something like this but you have to stay healthy, if not for yourself your dad needs you... '
My dad.
I haven't heard his voice in what seems like forever. Or his amazing morning pancakes.
Maybe she's right...
Maybe I should at least attempt to get up and open my door, for my dad.
I opened my eyes and it stung when I did, but looking up at my roof, it's dark, the window blinds and curtains are closed.
No light.
I sat up slowly, putting what's left of my weight on to my arms to push myself up. And I looked towards the door. And the shadow of her legs that showed under it.
I stood up and wobbled a little as I was walking towards the door and clicked the door unlocked and then moved back waiting for her to open the door.
I watched the handle push down and open in toward me and her little figure Pop around the door.
' Lilly ! ' she exclaimed and ran towards me and hugged me.
Is it weird that this much physical contact is making me feel dizzy and breathless.
I attempted to slowly push her off and we walked over towards my bed.
' I never thought the day would come where you actually opened your door ' she said to me
' here ' she said handing me a bag of food ' please eat it all, you've become so thin. '
I opened the bag and picked out a chip and had a little bite then put it back into the bag.
' did you not get any texts I've been sending you ? '
Is she ever going to give up...
' where is your phone ? ' she asked again
' please lills... Talk to me ' she said putting her both hands onto her knee in defeat.
Maybe it's time I even attempt to try and have what's left of my life again.
I looked up at her and she was just sat, staring at me.
' thank you for the food ' i mumbled.
Thank you for the food.
After everything that she's done for me I thank her for the food.
' really it's no problem I hope you enjoy it ' she said with a smile because I replied to her.
' I stopped using my phone a while ago, I couldn't cope with what was on it, I'm sorry you didn't know that ' I again said to her.
' no. No no no no Lilly really it's fine don't apologise i just didn't know is all '
I leaned down towards the bottom draw near my bed and pulled it open to see my phone sitting there dusty, And I pulled it out and give it to Lucy.
She pushed a few buttons but nothing really happened. ' I'll go charge it for you, I have my charger ' she said leaping up over the other side of my room.
It was quite for a couple minutes until again Lucy spoke. ' can I open the curtains ? Blinds ? ' she asked me. I didn't really care, I just kept them closed because I didn't want to move.
I didn't want sunlight.
Within a couple moments light filled the room and you could see all the dust that flew around my room when the curtains and blinds opened.
' how much better is this ' she said to me.
' amazing ' I replied ever so quietly.
