Divine Assistance

The Real Target

Even though I was calmer than yesterday, I still had Collin sleep next to me all night. Not in a sexy way, since I still respected his vow not to have sex until marriage, but in a cuddling way. God, I love cuddling him. It's almost better than sex. The way his soft, fluffy fur feels against me as I hold him close, head on my chest. The smell of his warm, salty, pine odor that I can inhale when he sleeps.

Sometimes, when he's deep in REM, my hand finds its way to his ridiculously fluffy ass. It's as soft as his mane—like squeezing a purple marshmallow.

If we ever tie the knot, the things I'll do to that ass will go down in history.

When morning rolled around, Collin insisted on making breakfast, and I wasn't about to argue. Nobody whips up pancake batter as he does. He whistled as he worked in my kitchen, then turned to me at my honeycomb-colored table. "Strawberry or chocolate chip pancakes?"

"Combine them," I answer with a lick of my lips. "With a lot of cream."

"Your dentist must love you," He jokes while going to work on battering.

"All my dentists retired before forty thanks to me," I joke, grabbing my phone. Still nothing from I.M.P. about Roger. My own crew already reported he'd vanished from his apartment and drained his bank account. He started running the second the assassin showed up.

He can run all the way to Limbo for all I care—I'm still going to catch his sorry ass and spread him like jam.

"So, why do you think I was targeted?" Collin asked as he began to pour the batter into the flat top on the stove. "I mean, I don't really have any enemies."

"You're kidding, right?" I ask him with a snort. "You're my boyfriend. Publicly at that. There are plenty of people who want to see me ruined, hurt, or even dead. You're practically a weakness for me. This wasn't about you. This was about me."

"Oh, right," Collin scratches his head and turns to me with a sheepish smile. "Sorry. This kind of thing really doesn't happen in Heaven. I mean nobody gets assassinated for dating an important person. Like...ever..."

That look on his face cools the lava inside me to a simmer. I always knew dating Collin would come with complications, but I never imagined someone would actually try to kill him just to get to me. We've dealt with glares and nasty messages before, but this is the first time things have gotten truly dangerous.

Honestly, I should have seen this coming. I've lost people I cared about before, thanks to some asshole with a grudge. Being a Sin Lord paints a target on my back, and by extension, on anyone close to me. I guess I thought Collin's angel status would scare off any would-be attackers, since hurting him would rile up Heaven. But demons—and humans—are nothing if not reckless and stupid.

Just as Collin was flipping the pancakes, my cellphone went off, and I saw that it was Loona. I hit the call button at once and got serious. "Talk to me. You got him?"

"Oh yeah, we got him," Loona said with pride. "Fucker tried to get to the Dis City, but we got his ass at the airport. We roughed him up a bit for you at HQ, but we figured you wanted to do the real interrogation yourself."

"Damn straight I do," I answer, nodding to Collin as he sets breakfast on the table. "We'll be there after breakfast."

I hung up and took a bite of the fluffy, delicious, sweet, creamy pancakes. Vengeance can come later. For now, there are pancakes to be eaten.

***

We arrive at the I.M.P. office via portal, and I can see the Imps have been busy. A collection of torture toys was on the nearby desk, such as bàrbed wire nails, acid-coated knives, and standard dentist equipment. Seriously, the things you can do with the equipment at a tooth doctor's office are amazing for torture. Loona was filing her nails while Moxxie filled coffee mugs for him and his wife. Blitzo just came out of his office, whipping blood off his hands when he noticed us.