I Love You Too Much to Give Up Now (BoyxBoy)*Complete*

Chapter 26- ILY2M

Dedicated to:

My Child Hood. . . I Miss You and Wish I Could Have You Back :’(

So ya I’m disappointed but I don’t care anymore. This chapter was emotional for me so the least u can do is comment. Sorry that it’s not long. This story is coming to an end so ya enjoy. And thank you for my fans, I love you all. . . All I have to say is I have 177 fans yet I have only 8 fans, I feel like I’m not a good writer, im feeling very emotional right now soo please comment. That’s all I ask, not even votes just a comment telling me u still care for my writing as horrible as it is. I have another story being planned right now for when I finish power of forbidden love. So ya keep a look out of a preview of that. Well-read please.

Song for This Chapter:  I Need A Doctor by Dr. Dre, this song inspired this chapter. I need a doctor:(</3

I Love You Too Much To Give Up Now

Chapter 26: ILY2M

Eric’s P.O.V

I was suspended for five days. I was waiting in the car while my mom and Principle Daniels talked about who knows what. She’s probably promising that this won’t ever happen again and that this situation don’t go on my permanent record. My mom has always wanted me to go to college and enjoy life unlike her, who had me when she had graduated high school. She didn’t want things to get in the way of my bright future. I hadn’t always been good at sports or anything but I was pretty smart. I had straight A’s in middle school but it sort of changed now.

School was usually my main priority when I didn’t have Sam. I wanted our future to be strong so I tried harder to be good with my school work and now that I don’t have him I don’t even want to pay attention in class. School is nothing to me now. All that matters is me trying to hold in my tears at night.

Things happen for a reason right? I believe in that, but why do the good things end so quickly for me? Am I prone unhappiness?

I haven’t’ seen myself happy in a long time. It feels like years since my smile was filled with optimism. I miss being a kid.  I only worried about getting in trouble for playing to rough or afraid of scrapping my knee. That’s all I really worried about. I didn’t worry about love, drama, and jerks that go way too far now.

Being a kid was something I enjoyed, I didn’t like school when I was younger but who does? Getting up early was the worst thing back then. Once I got to school it changed. I missed having a million friends, thy eventually changed drastically, becoming drug addicts, gangsters, homophobes or just straight up losers. It was sad, watching me subside with my friends. I slowly fell away from them all.

When we were small no one ever realized what gay, straight or bisexual was. The days when all we cared about was having fun. I looked up to stare at the boy I used to be. It was a sticker picture of me on my mom’s review mirror from second grade. I was smiling with a missing tooth and I was in a white collared shirt. The smile was real, all too real that I can barely remember. My skin was smooth and I had a scab on my arm from earlier at recess. I remember that day; it was when I dirtied my friend Jessica’s dress with salad dressing. She was mad and she threw her corn dog at me. I smiled and laughed at that memory. I

I looked through my mom’s car and found a picture of six boys, slinging over each other as they smile goofily. First one was the tallest, Henry. He moved away that year I had met him. He was the peace keeper. The one that held us all together. He was our glue; he was short, with spiky light brown hair. He was the reason we were all friends. Then it was Alfred. He was the tallest one, he always wore a black sweater and he always had his hood on. He would literally hide himself in that hood. He stopped talking to me; the last thing he told me was that I was the devils child. That’s the last time I ever remember him. I’ve never seen him since. I cried later that day and I didn’t know what to do.

Then it was Juan, he was the one that flowed with everything, he never really argued, he just went with the flow. He was the quiet one that just walked around with us. He was the darkest one out of all of us. It was like a relationship with Juan. When Henry moved we started hitting him for some odd reason. We’d call him stupid and hit his head and on day he said he didn’t want to talk to us ever again. After that we saw him until he moved away out of nowhere.

 Then it was me, then Jose. He was the one who helped think of games. He was creative and always loved being the conflict mediator. He would fix things and spent the most time talking. He slowly faded after Henry had moved away. Things really went to shit after Henry moved. Then it was Sam, he was the odd ball but he was the actual best friend of mine but I never said that. He stuck it out with me the whole way. I wonder if he remembers, but he would hardly be with the guys because he barely moved that time around.

I looked at the picture for a few minutes. I suddenly saw a tear fall on the picture. I was crying. I touched my damp cheek and began to sob. I let out little whines and began to kick and punch everything. Letting my anger out at my mom’s car. I just began to jump from my seat and scream. Tears falling like waves. I slammed my head on the head rest and just brought my knee’s to my chest and cried. Little whines escaped my mouth as I cried into my arms.

“I hate my life, I hate it so much!!!!!” I screamed at the picture of me on the mirror. “Why have I changed so much!? Tell me why? What’s the difference!? ” I stared at my picture and yelled at it. I threw my fist at it and watched the mirror fly forward. The car door opened and there stood a scared mother with her mouth dangling open.

“What the hell Eric!” She screamed with anger. I looked her straight in the eyes and I began crying again. She came straight in and gave me a hug.

“It’s ok baby, shh it’s alright.” She held the back of my head as she pressed my head against her chest. I sobbed and hiccupped before I spoke.

“Mommy! I hate my life! I hate it so much!” I screamed as her heart beat sped up. She squeezed me harder and rocked back and forth.

“Baby don’t say that, don’t ever say that. Not while I’m here to be with you, never!” She said as I heard her begin to cry.

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I explained to my mom about everything that had happened. I couldn’t take this anymore. I couldn’t handle what I’ve been through so I decided on something. I’m going to talk to Priscilla and tell her that she can have Sam. As much as it kills me and makes me want to kill myself, I have to for his sake. I can’t let her hurt him if she’s pretending to be with me. Once I tell her I’m going to talk to Sam and tell him that I can’t be with him anymore.

I talked to my mom about this choice that I would eventually regret but I don’t have a choice at this point. I looked at the picture of him and I at the beach a few months ago. A tear slipped my eye. How was I going to tell him that I’m leaving? Leaving far away for a while. Another tear slipped my eye and I fell onto my bed and put my earphones on.

“I’m about to lose my mind, You’ve been gone for so long, I’m running out of time, I need a doctor, call me a doctor, I need a doctor, doctor, to bring me back to life.” I need something to bring me back to life. I’m so afraid of myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. I sang as I drifted to sleep.

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So far this is the first chapter I cried while writing.  The whole picture thing in the car was an actual experience. Everything was basically 1-3 grades for me. It was so hard to write it and remember all of that stuff. I haven’t thought deep into all of that for years. I actually cried so please comment . So ya. This was my emotional chapter so please vote or you will really kill my heart. And ya what do you think? COMMENT AND VOTE. . . . :/

Like Passion In Flames said, This Story from now on is for MY care, and for those who care. That’s how much I’m hurt from u guys. . . . sorry but I’m getting so into the story I’m finally making myself part of my character and if u don’t like  it then it hurts, just thought I’d tell you how I actually feel now