BUBBLEGUM BITCH

CHAPTER 6

I come home and take a long shower. I am frustrated, not at Marina, and not at my manager, but at me. I feel like I should apologize to Marina for causing her to flip shit, but there is no chance in hell I could face Marina without her biting my head off.

I stand in the shower, resting my head against the bath tub wall. My fingers start to shrivel up but I don't care, i just can't shake the guilt. I mean, Marina was only trying to be nice and I had to go and fuck everything up. Finally my fingers started to hurt because of how wrinkly they were getting so I decided to step out. Instead of immediately drying myself, I wrap myself in a clean towel, subconsciously hoping it would soak up not just the water that's dripping everywhere, but the guilt. I just wanted to shake this feeling of pity I have for Marina off my shoulders. I shouldn't feel sorry for Marina though. She has attacked me so many times, verbally and mentally. She has broken me down to my core and she doesn't even know me.

Since I have nothing better to do today, and I want to get my mind of Marina for the first time in almost a whole week, I go on twitter. I search through my timeline on twitter sheepishly reading the things my fans say about me, like how gorgeous I am and how my voice sounds like a lullaby. It always cheers me up to know that my fans are always around to make me feel more like myself at times I need it. My fans are the only people who drive me insane, but remind me of who I am and keep me sane at the same time.

My phone beeps. I answer it tired, I hoped it isn't my manager ranting out to me about how I blew it, but go figure, I click the accept call button and instantly I'm being bombarded by Ben, "Lana, I know you've heard this come out of my mouth before, but I just want you to apologize to Marina..." my manager begins to say until I end the phone call, not letting him finish his sentence, I'm not in the mood for trouble, which is inscribed on Marina's heart. I don't want to apologize to Marina just because someone else is forcing me to, I want to apologize to her in my own way, with my own standards. In a lack of better vocabulary, I found it pretty bitchy how she just flipped out on me yesterday. Marina is always about surprises, how she acts, what she says, everything is a surprise with her.

I start to shiver and I feel goosebumps forming on my pale skin. I close my windows, shut off my computer and fully dry myself off. It's still pretty early in the morning, so I put on some clothes and the bare minimum makeup wise, and pour myself some cereal. The only noise in the room is the crunch on the cereal between my teeth, other than that, utter silence. "Maybe, I would like it better with a little Marina drama," I whisper to myself following a hysterical laugh.

I decided I wanted to watch some movies to pass the time, but I couldn't pick just one themed movie, so i watch them all. There are some action movies, thrillers, horrors, probably even some stupid romantic comedies. I've lost count in how many movies I've watched so far. I basically took handfuls of movies in my cupboard and watched every one of them until I'm greeted by the night sky. Then my doorbell rings interrupting a french chick flick movie with the English translations at the bottom. I'm not going to lie, this movie sucks.

I straighten out my dress and pause the movie. I grab a quick glance at myself in the mirror hanging above my coffee table and I look alright. I mean obviously whoever is on the other side of the door isn't going to expect too much of my looks if they're visiting at this ungodly hour. It's probably just my manager, and he's seen WAY worse of me.

Humming one of my songs, Video Games, I swing the door open. I'm temporarily blinded by the bright lights from the hallway. When my eyes finally adjust I realize that the person standing in front of me is the last person I would ever expect to visit me. It's Marina. I swallow hard. I get a queazy feeling in my stomach. It's not the searing pain like I've had before, it's different . It feels warm spreading around my stomach like something inside me melted. It's the feeling you get in high school when the most good-looking guy in school winks at you. Something inside me burns and nearly threatens to make me throw up. Sweat beads off my forehead, something is going to go wrong, I can feel it. Why is my body reacting to Marina's presence so terribly? Does my body understand how bad Marina wanted to squeeze her hands around my neck?

We don't say anything. I just lean against the door, trying to sort out my next words carefully. Talking to Marina is like walking through a mine field, any wrong step and you're blown to smithereens. Something is most definitely different with her today, she's not glaring at me. She seems to be examining me more than anything. She's just slowly letting her eyes scan everything about me.

"Excuse you?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest, getting the feeling she's judging me and picking out all of my flaws.

Before anybody can say anything else, Marina's lips are pressed against mine. "What the FUCK are you doing?" I ask in disgust. I pull away from her lips. Marina doesn't do anything, she just stands there and looks at me. "I always knew you were a slut, you'd fuck anything that moves." I harshly say to her. I try to slam the door closed but Marina stops it with her foot and opens the door, inviting herself in. Marina is still much too close to me and she rested her hand on my shoulder like she did before.

She leans against the closed door and before I know it, I'm being thrown against a wall, Marina kissing me again. "If I'm such a slut then why were you kissing back?" Marina teases. She wraps her hands around my hips and squeezes my ass hard.

"Stop," I say, breaking the kiss. She doesn't stop. The feeling in my stomach comes back, only stronger. "God dammit Marina, stop it." I say and I push her off. The truth is, I didn't want her to stop, her lips tasted good. Her body feels natural against mine. I just don't know what she's plotting against me. Something is wrong with this whole situation, yet I realize that I'm pulling her back in for another kiss. Every inch of Marina's soul is full of trouble. There is nothing good about her, she's just a little ball of trouble looking for every possible way to destroy my career. But I don't care. I wanted her.