Welcome To My World

Text Speak (Satire Assignment)

Full Title: Text Speak; Is It Ruining the Minds of the Next Generation?

It has been around since the first abbreviations were created. The subtle uses of 'luv u 2' 'brb' 'omg' 'icbth' 'lmao', most commonly referred to 'lmbo' for those who do not swear, have been everywhere from this paper to other places such as the Internet have been forced to harbor these newer and lazier ways of talking to people. These offences usually occur on forums, blogs, rant books and texting, all because the humans who use them are too lazy to look up the correct spelling or are in too much of a hurry to answer properly, thus leaving the great writers of old to stir on their graves as the world brutally abuses the way of writing as it once were.

From now on until we go back to the ways of old, anyone who is caught using abbreviations for the words that could be easily spelled in the span of seconds for the first time will have their thumbs cut off and fed to them whole, if caught a second time they will face jail time. A third offence however, the offender will be sent to orbit the sun for all of eternity never to come back. A fourth offence, however unlikely, if it were to occur they will be plummeted to the bottom of a ravine to never be seen again. A fifth and final punishment, for the horrible people who skip the first four offences, will be handcuffed to the person they think is most annoying. However, if one does not have someone they think is annoying they will either be handcuffed to Justin Beiber or Miley Cyrus.

The true question is, will any of these options truly work? Probably the third, fourth and fifth punishments would work the best if it ever were to happen, however, I do not think our government would go as far as to send someone to the sun over something such as language, or at all really. If that were to be true, how many prisoners do you think would already be bacon up there? HOw much money would it have cost to send prisoners up to the sun only for the space ship to be melted along with the passengers? It would create bigger debt than we're already in.

The option that would most work would be to do nothing. Eventually the craze will die out, just like many others before and we will be left with what had once been the 'popular' way to communicate with one another. There is no way to make someone stop using improper grammar and shortened versions of already easy words in the English language. If someone tried to do something everyone would rebel and nothing would get done because students and normal people who use said 'easier' words wouldn't want to learn the proper way to use them, they would be too stubborn and refuse to learn. You know Greece wasn't built in a day, no matter how fast you expected and pushed them to work, eventually they would get tired of it and lash back.

Yes grammar needs to get better within the community but it will take time and you have to be patient with it, no matter how much you want to lash out at the offenders of the English language. No matter how much you give someone a grade you think they deserve, be it not an A or a B worthy assignment people will always complain about something in the English language, it's something that's never going to change due to humanity's way of shunning anything they do not think is worth their time, it just so happens that English and Math are in that category that people just don't like or care about after Collage and High School.

One day there will be a world where grammar is used properly without abbreviated words. That day just will not come soon enough.