This Is Our Second Skin (Frerard)

16: The Chapter That Most Of You Have Been Waiting For

"Frank...I - I'm scared," Gerard admitted softly, pulling back against Frank's hand which was trying to tug him out the door, his eyes squinting due to the late afternoon sunlight that was spilling across the sky.

Gerard had actually been excited at the idea of going out dressed this way when Frank had suggested it, despite his misgivings, but now that it was happening, his terror was overwhelming him, and even though it sounded ridiculous, Gerard was convinced that all of his neighbors would start laughing at him the second he left the safety of his apartment, maybe they would even form a mob, with pitchforks, and torches, and everything, even though he highly doubted that most people had either of those items readily on hand, but whatever - Gerard was having a mini mental breakdown okay?

"Don't be afraid Gerard - here," Frank turned Gerard's chin so he was forced to look into Frank's eyes instead of at the horizon, "just look at me okay, don't pay attention to anything else," Frank pleaded, his expression silently begging Gerard to give this a chance.

"I - fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be," Gerard chuckled dryly, his eyes fluttering shut as he pulled his coat tighter around him, a dark green knee length one that he had acquired from Lindsey of course.

"You can do it honey, I know you can, just stay focused on me. You look fucking beautiful - okay?" Frank reassured Gerard, and this time, Gerard allowed Frank to gently tug him over the threshold and into the outside world, even though he still wasn't convinced that this was a good idea.

"Okay, I can do this," Gerard repeated Frank's words back to himself, tightening his hold on Frank's hand as they exited the apartment complex, Gerard's knees shaking underneath him the entire time.

As they headed down the street toward the cafe, which according to Frank was only a few blocks away, Gerard was just waiting for someone to say something, to scoff in disgust, to throw some sort of slur his way. His eyes were constantly roving over the crowd, searching for any signs of shock or distaste, but Frank instantly picked up on his panicked behavior, stopping their forward motion in an attempt to gain Gerard's full attention, but he was still very aware of the plethora of people surrounding him.

"Hey, did you already forget what I told you?" Frank asked, one of his eyebrows rising up slightly in a manner that Gerard always found adorable.

"Uh - what?" Gerard stammered out, because he honestly hadn't been listening to what Frank had said, he had been distracted by the man who seemed to be sending Gerard dirty glares from across the street.

"I want you to look at me okay, just at me. Don't look ahead, don't look around, I'll make sure you don't run into anything, but you have to stop searching for a negative reaction. Yes - some people might judge you, but they are assholes, and they don't matter." Frank's voice was filled with passion, and Gerard suddenly realized that Frank had probably been teased and ridiculed for wearing women's clothing numerous times, but he didn't let that bother him, so Gerard shouldn't either - if only that was as easy to do as it sounded.

"I'm trying Frank, I'm sorry," Gerard apologized, his eyes dropping to stare down at his shoes, tears forming behind his closed lids, a few being stolen away by gravity to land with a silent plop onto the grey sidewalk.

Gerard wasn't entirely sure why he was about to cry, because nothing had even happened yet, so he should be ecstatic that he had managed to leave the house in clothing he felt comfortable in, but this was such a big step for him all at once, and the overwhelming emotions were taking their toll on Gerard already.

"Hey - oh god Gerard, don't cry, please?" Frank gasped, his arms instantly coming around Gerard to encircle him in a soft embrace. "I'm the one who's sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you to come out before you were ready. If you want, we can go back to your place okay?"