My Confessional

4. Shapes

"Tag you're it!" I say to her before running back to the playground, the colorful rods were base, where you were safe.

Sixth grade, where imaginations ran wild and creativity was still bursting from every pore. The grade that was the best, where I hardly learned and fun roamed free, not being scared of being locked in the cage. Our teacher, Mrs.Mystery was pregnant so a substitute had to step in. She was the teacher that wasn't strict or laid back, just somewhere in between. She was from Indian (from india not the US) decent, her black hair and olive skin still vivid in my mind. Everyone loved our teacher because of her kindness and she wasn't as cut throat as some teachers of the same grade.

One time I was in another classroom because they couldn't find someone to take over the class so they just split us up between the grade. I remember her blond hair and her hurtful words, she just wanted us to be quiet and when I asked my friend quietly for a sheet of paper, she sent me to a 5th grade room because I was being disruptive. The first time a teacher not only called me out in front of the whole class but isolated me from every single person I knew.

I remember walking in with a face of complete embarrassment, only an hour into the day and I was already in another grade. Everyone looked at me, terrified of judgement, I sat down at a small desk on the edge of the classroom, no one sitting around me.

The school in Arizona didn't have one class for each subject, just one for all subjects besides gym and music, both that were required. Preschool through eighth, were the grades and I was stuck somewhere in fifth.

"You can sit at a desk of four if you want too." She said to me, also having blond hair but noticeably older, she wasn't as scary as I expected.

I was grateful that she wanted to include me in the lesson plan even if I was an outsider. There was only one open desk and it was of course, at the front of the classroom. Two girls and one boy, all of my table mates scared of me.

The boys and girls were weary, keeping their squares and triangles to themselves but it only took twenty minutes for the whole class to erupt with laughter. Because that's the effect I have on people... just kidding anyway what really happened is we were doing math and someone else said something funny. Yeah, but eventually they did accept me and shared their plastic shapes

And in that moment I finally got it, the circle, our universe is split in two, split between two types of people. The ones who find it easy to isolate people and make them feel insecure and the people with hearts of gold, who aren't afraid to be vulnerable and who end up being the funnest. This is how life is and I didn't see it until that day, I moved on from the awful confrontation with the teacher the next morning and in turn, started a new.