My Confessional

11. A Brand New Me

September 2015, almost two years after the incident and about a year since I've fully moved on. I just want to go into this saying I regret nothing, if I could take it all back, I wouldn't. I know how cliche that sounds because, I'm such a greater person after getting through it yada yada yada, but it's true! I feel like after taking the path that I was thrown on, I came out victorious and I changed the way I wanted to. My stepfather was the best and worst part of my life, I never needed nor wanted his abuse but in return, I honestly don't care what people think of me.

Bullying is something that makes me extremely upset, being bullied most of your life is just crushing and could kill you. Sexuality is extremely dramatized in the world and I hate it, I've never felt more hatred for anything. Hurting someone purposely is just wrong, even if they deserve it, who are you to decide that.

Sexuality is such a small thing, yes it's reproduction and how we're still alive but someone else's sexuality shouldn't be all you think of them as. They have a name, their name is not "Gay" or "Lesbian" or "Trans", we are all people and titles shouldn't be restricting. There is more to a person than meets the eye, and if you don't think so, it's kinda shallow.

Be you is a campaign that Ariana Grande is supporting with her new fragrance "Ari", I mention her a lot because she is my inspiration. Not only releasing new music but she fully supports Frankie, her brother who happens to be gay and ended up switching churches because they didn't accept him. Anyway, Be you is pretty self explanatory, encouraging people to be themselves no matter your personality and that means soooo much to me.

Thinking that hundreds to thousands of people commit suicide everyday because they think it won't get better, it is the most awful feeling you could ever feel. Being closely related to the people who have a higher suicide rate makes you think more about other people because it is heard so much. People who are forced to stay in the closet because of domestic abuse, parents that would disown them, people at school who are constantly torturing them, those are the people I think about.

I would much rather die, so that every person like me doesn't have to go through it because no one should have to and yet is still goes on. Like Celine Dion's heart on Titanic, you have to go on, for Jack.

My advice to someone who is going through something so painful is to reach out for help, something that I never did. I bet that all of my problems could have been solved years ago if I just told a person how I felt instead of keeping it sealed in a jar. It's not easy and I get that, sometimes it's easier to hide and not be noticed. Find a coping mechanism, music, writing, go out running, paint, sing, film movies, just something that will break the bottle.

I dedicated this chapter just to say I love you, you are amazing just the way you are and you don't need to change yourself for others to be perfect. It's ok to be scared because one day, everyone who treated you badly will realize they made a huge mistake. There is at least one person out there who loves you and that's me! Promise me to doing you because gurl! You rockin it! Anyway, good morning, good afternoon and goodnight guys.

With Love, Absol1355