Sometimes I just feel so helpless. I don't know what to do. The world is caving in on me and it feels like I can't breathe. My own mind is my cage. It controls me. It tells me to look into the mirror. Stare at my flaws. "Go to the drawer," he says. "You know witch one". My hand opening the drawer. I look in and see and old friend. It's been so long. But it seems to be the only escape. "Use it!" My brain says. Screaming and etching it's wants into my soul. I grab the blade. I stare at it. Shaken I glide it across my skin. Quickly the line turns red. "Again!" He screams. So again I go. But this time is deeper. With every cut I feel relieved. Like I'm setting an escape. Cause for in those few moments, I'm not thinking about my cage. I'm not thinking at all. I'm lost. Staring at my own self loath and hatred. I watch the blood trickle down my arm.
The screaming has stopped. "I'll never do it again." I promise myself. "That's what you said last time" he whispers.
