Heartbreak Girl

Everything I Didn't Say.

Maya's POV

Things had been strained with Luke recently. It wasn't that we weren't talking, it was that every time we did it was awkward and would turn to the weather or some other small talk topic. We were both trying and that was the problem, it wasn't effortless like it used to be.

The last couple of days in particular were the worst. It was the build up to moving day and the closer it got the less we seemed to talk, which was stupid since all I wanted to do was hold him and never let him leave.

The sun poured in from a chink in my curtains and I stared at the strip of light it was letting it, making my eyes burn.

Today was moving day.

The beeping of a van stirred me and I sat up, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them along with my bed covers. A world where I couldn't see Luke everyday was a world I didn't want to live in yet here we were, preparing our goodbyes. My heart clenched as the murmur of voices from outside reached me and I could hear Luke. This would be the last morning he'd be just the other side of these walls.

I listened to the loading of the van for a few minutes before pattering over to the window and pulling the curtains open slightly. I wanted to watch the chaos without being spotted.

Luke was passing objects up to whoever was stood in the van and every time he bent over I could see how broad he really was. It made my heart stutter for a few seconds before he stopped and went inside. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding and pulled my curtains open properly, resting my elbows on the windowsill. Luke re-emerged from inside carrying his guitar but didn't stop to load it in the van, he disappeared from my view and a few seconds later my doorbell rang.

I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach knowing this was it, this was his goodbye. My heart squeezed tightly in my chest and I shut my eyes for a second, trying not to cry before he had even walked in. Part of me wanted my mum to not let him in, to say I was asleep or something just so I didn't have to say goodbye.

There was a gentle tapping at my door and I ran a shaky hand through my hair and muttered a quiet "Come in." The door opened and Luke stood on the other side, his eyes fixed on the floor. Neither of us knew what to say so I bit the bullet and walked up to him, throwing my arms round his neck. I squeezed him tightly trying to ignore his guitar that was pushed painfully against me.

"Don't go." I whispered into his neck. He didn't reply so I unlatched myself from him and took a step back. His eyes were glassy like he was about to cry but he cracked a small smile. Seeing him like this was breaking my heart even more and I couldn't stop the single tear that trickled down my cheek. "I've been working on something to say goodbye." He lifted his guitar up slightly to signal he was holding it for a reason and stepped into my room causing me to shuffle backwards and sit on my bed. He nodded in approval and draped the strap round him before taking a deep breath.

"Maya, this is Everything I Didn't Say:

This is everything I didn't say

Wait, don't tell me, heaven is a place on earth
I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't
Show you what you're really worth

The way, you held me, I wish that I had put you first
I was wrong I admit, numb from your kiss
While you were slipping through my fingertips

Taking every breath away
With all of the mistakes I made
From all the letters that I saved
This is everything I didn't say
I wish I could've made you stay
And I'm the only one to blame
I know that it's a little too late
This is everything I didn't say

Whoa, whoa
This is everything I didn't say

Wake me up now, and tell me this is all a bad dream
All the songs that I wrote, all the wrongs that I hoped would erase from your memory
Holding onto a broken and empty heart
Flowers I should've bought, all the hours I lost
Wish I could bring it back to the start

Taking every breath away
With all of the mistakes I made
From all the letters that I saved
This is everything I didn't say
I wish I could've made you stay
And I'm the only one to blame
I know that it's a little too late
This is everything I didn't say

I hope you know, for you I'd sacrifice
To make this right, whoa whoa
Someday, I'm sure
We'll pass each other by
Until that time

Taking every breath away
With all of the mistakes I made
From all the letters that I saved
This is everything I didn't say
I wish I could've made you stay
And I'm the only one to blame
I know that it's a little too late
This is everything I didn't say

Whoa, whoa
This is everything I didn't say"

His words echoed round the room before a small silence sat between us, only broken by my sniffling. The tears were dripping down my face and dampening my top and Luke put his guitar down and sat next to me. He wrapped his arm round me and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Oh Luke, I'm so sorry, that was so beautiful I can't believe you did that for me." He stroked the back of my head delicately with his thumb before starting to play with a strand of my hair.

"Just promise me Maya that you'll always remember all the good times we had before everything got complicated." I chocked out a giggle. "Of course I will you muppet, every time was a good time."

"Well...."

"Every time was a good time." I repeated it in a stern voice and he pushed my head up so I could face him and he ran his thumbs under my eyes. "I fucking love you Maya, and I'm sorry things had to be left like this, but I'll visit all the time and we can skype just don't run off with Michael."

"I won't, I love you too and nothing could change that. Just don't forget me when you have new friends and a new girlfriend." He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "You think I'll get a new girlfriend?"

"Well....I'd like to hope not but..." He leaned forward and kissed me cutting me off.

"You're all I need and I love you Maya Davidson."