Frost Bite

Chapter 21

Jack

It takes Ryan less time than I thought it would to muster up the courage to have a man to man with me. And I guess I've underestimated him. He is Josie's best friend and she's smart, so I probably should have given him more credit.

But only a little.

"We need to talk," Ryan informs me as I'm leaving my bedroom.

I widen my eyes. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Don't be an asshole. I just want to talk to you. And you know what about." He motions toward one of the guest bedrooms and I sigh.

"Very well. But just so you know, I expect you to buy me dinner before you try anything."

Ryan looks disgusted, his upper lip curling. It's a look I know well. "Shut up, Jackass."

I smirk. "Jackass? Clever, stealing Josie's lines."

"This isn't a joke, Jack."

"For once I agree. Homophobia is no joke."

Ryan glares. "It's not a joke because of Josie."

I shrug. "To you it isn't. I've been around long enough to see the humor in it." I look him up and down. "The best friend's unrequited love. You could have been more original, I hope you know. If you had fallen in love with me – that would have been so much more interesting, don't you think?"

"Jack, I have something to say to you and I know you'll hate it and I know you hate me and you know what? Like you, I don't give a shit." Ryan's voice burns and I know it kills him that she hasn't looked twice at him. That she's totally oblivious.

Or, she was, anyway. Now that I've told her I think she'll see what she didn't before. All my snide remarks will fall into place and she'll know.

And it won't make a difference and he knows it.

I give him my nastiest, cockiest grin. "Feeling a little inferior? It's okay; I've been known to make other guys feel that way. It's perfectly normal."

"Would you shut up for a second?" he demands. Everything about him trembles with the sincerity of his emotions. And for a second I envy Ryan, because he feels everything, because he has his whole life and he's used to it while I'm slowly learning what I feel.

I stare at him and he sucks in a deep breath. I'm going to let him talk and he knows it, now he just has to say it.

When it comes out, it's soft and quivers with all his unsaid adoration for Josie. And I know he's better for her than I am. He's the one that she should want to be with. In a life where they had never had met me, she probably would have grown to love him. And it kills me.

"You don't deserve her," he whispers. Everything about his expression from his furrowed brows to his tense shoulders screams of his hate for me. There is no doubt in my mind that if he were certain she wouldn't hate him for killing me, he'd do it. Or he'd try anyway.

"I don't," I agree and it's the most honest thing I've ever said to him. The only honest thing I've ever said to him.

He raises his blond eyebrows and there's a part of me that would just love to kick his teeth in. "What? No jokes about your perfection or how you're descended from angels? About how Josephine's lucky that a mere mortal like herself is graced beyond the telling with you presence?"

"Actually I was going to ask what you were thinking this morning when you got dressed. Maybe it's just because you're a mortal, but were you planning on looking like a hobo or is that just how it ended up? That and how your voice just rings with jealousy when you talk about Josie and me."