Frost Bite

Chapter 42

Jack

That night I wake up from a nightmare I haven't had since a hundred years before I met Josie – more a memory than a dream, the day that I stopped being Jack and became Jack Frost. I haven't sweat since I was human but I feel like I need to. My skin's uncomfortably hot and my chest rises and falls hard and fast in quick pants.

Josie barely stirs next to me as I get up and leave the tent we've been sharing for the last several days. It's not as comfortable as her room or mine but it's something else we can call ours and I like that. Even if it is barely big enough to hold the two of us and a change of clothes.

I step out of the tent soundlessly, a layer of ice forming beneath my feet and I long for the cold. I miss the mountains and the snow and subzero temperatures because every bit of heat just reminds me I do not belong here. I haven't belonged anywhere but the cold for a thousands years.

And as much as I want to escape I miss it at the same time. However little that makes sense.

"You need to give them the cure," Ryan says and I freeze. I turn to the sound of his voice and see him and Summer sitting next to the fire. They're far enough away that Ryan won't ever see me, not with the dark of the jungle wrapped around me, but well within my line of sight. I go still, desperate to hear anything out of Summer's mouth regarding the cure.

"I don't need to do anything," Summer says pointedly. "I could burn you to a crisp without even moving a finger. I don't need to listen to you."

Ryan, to his credit, doesn't move an inch, doesn't flinch, doesn't back down. "You're the one who's responsible for everything bad that's ever happened to Jo. And to Jack for that matter. You don't think that maybe you owe them something?"

Summer's gaze turns flinty. "How do you know that?"

"Jo told me. She didn't want Jack to know 'cause she was afraid there would be a clash of the titans but she told me because I'm her best friend and she trusts me. And because she knew that I wouldn't attack you with a wall of ice to convince you that maybe you're obligated to help them out."

"What do you care? If Jack stays immortal then you have a greater chance of stealing her from him," Summer points out. "Are you really acting in your best interest?"
 "No, I'm acting in Jo's," he says coldly, and I realize that maybe Ryan has picked up a thing or two from me in the last few months. "I love her and for a while I was hurt. But I'm over it. And I love her so I don't have to be there for her, I get to be there for her. I'm her best friend and she's my best friend. And she deserves to be happy. Especially since it was your psycho ex that kidnapped her."

I frown and I'm not sure what puzzles me more, the idea that Summer has an ex-boyfriend or the idea that he had something to do with Josie's kidnapping.

"I am not responsible for his actions," Summer says dismissively.

But Ryan stands up in front of her. "You owe them. Jack isn't you and Jo sure isn't as hell Xavier. You can't tell them they're going to make the same mistakes when they're different people."

"The cure is mine to do with what I wish," Summer snaps. Her eyes are bright and full of fury but Ryan folds his arms across his chest and Summer doesn't seem any larger, any more powerful than he does even though she could burn him alive. Ryan is all willpower and determination and I have to admit that I admire him. He's a better man than I give him credit for.

"You don't get to make all the rules. You aren't all powerful and you sure as hell aren't all knowing. You're just scared that they're gonna make it work. And then what does that say about you?"
 The air is a hundred degrees hotter in a fraction of a second and Summer is inches from tearing Ryan's throat out.

"What makes you think you know me? You're such a finite creature, you can't even begin to fathom where I begin and end," Summer snaps, and I can hear the power in her voice but beneath that I hear the vulnerability and the bluff. It's all a front and I know from a thousand years of putting one foot in front of the other, pretending that everything was all right going to get better actually okay.

"I know what it's like to see someone else have what you want and hate them for it. Fear them for it," Ryan says even as I see blisters forming on his skin from the heat. "And you know what? You pretend to be different – you pretend to be better and invincible to all the human problems and emotions in the world but you know what? You aren't any better. You feel all the same things and you have to live with it forever. So who really wins?" he asks because he knows the answer. And so does Summer, and so do I.

Immorality is never, ever a gift.

Summer works her jaw back and forth, looking at Ryan with a degree of surprise that rivals my own. It's moments like these where I see why Josie chose Ryan as her friend. I see how he's taken care of her and helped piece her back together after her mom and tried to teach her how to keep from letting those pieces break apart again.

Josie may be in love with me, but I don't know if she'll ever really need me or rely on me the way that she's come to need and rely on Ryan.

"You're right. I'm not different. But what makes you think Jack would make a good human?" she demands. "It's been a thousand years since he was mortal. He has no idea how to live in the world as a human."

Ryan just smiles. "I know he will because he has someone to live for." He says that and I begin to wonder when exactly Ryan and I became allies. Maybe not friends – not yet – but certainly allies.

Summer cocks her eyebrows. "And who do you have to live for? The girl? She doesn't love you back."
 "Yeah, she does. Just not the way that I'd hoped," Ryan says and I wonder if this is what growing up looks like.

Summer stares at him like she can't believe the words coming out of his mouth and I almost can't believe it either. Except – I see the way he cares about Josie. I see the way that he quietly takes care of her, never asking for anything in return.

So I guess it's really more believable than Summer realizes.

"You are strange human," Summer announces finally. "And I'm not sure that I understand you."

Ryan smiles wryly. "I take that as a compliment," he informs her and I can hear what he's not saying: 'cause you're a heartless bitch.

I give a small smile as well, because I think I'm coming to understand Ryan, even if he isn't coming to understand me or like me. And that's okay. He doesn't have to. But he's meant more to Josie than he realizes and he'll never not be a part of her life.

Summer's expression turns thoughtful. "Perhaps I have misjudged Jack. I have certainly misjudged you."

Ryan's smile turns smug. "You certainly did. And you have misjudged Jack. I did too – okay, well I was right at first but he's changed. He's actually a good guy... Don't tell him I said that, though. It'll just make him insufferable."

Summer's mouth quirks up at the side. "I still haven't decided to give them the cure."

Ryan looks at her with a knowing gaze, his blue eyes steady and firm. "Yes, you have."