The Uneventful Life Of Lena

Ouch, must I panic?

I always knew that I was the strong one. The one that wouldn't allow herself to fall back. The one that is just too strong to break her barriers. The one that wouldn't allow herself to get hurt, no matter what.

Especially not for something stupid.

I was being selfish, really selfish.

"You really should stop. All it's gonna do is hurt you in the end? Is it worth it?"

I shook my head and kept my eyes on the road, running my fingers along the steering wheel. The music was soft. it was Coldplay. And my friends were talking to me. It wasn't the smartest time to talk to me since I was driving, but they felt it was probably the only time. And that's stupid cause when we get to the place they can yell at me there. Safer idea too.

"Come on Lena, he just wanted to have..." I cut her off.

"I know," I huffed.

There was Skylar sitting in the passenger seat and Penny in the back. Skylar was the black haired one that looked all punk but causal while Penny had burgundy hair and husky eyes. Literally like the dog, one green and one blue.

And the person I was arguing with was Skylar. She really liked to tell you when you were wrong. But not in a bad way, she just wanted to help you. And she enjoyed being blunt.

This weird tension drowned us as we continued driving. My reply wasn't a very subtle one, I had thrown in a bunch of attitude into it. Well, I wasn't happy with myself either and her saying out loud how stupid I was really wasn't helping me.

"I mean, I get it. You liked him and this is your first relationship so you're desperate..." Penny started to talk. But she realized what she was saying was not right at this moment.

I drove onto the exit ramp from the highway, I had to stop because I felt shivers start to grow on my skin and that meant a panic attack was rising.

There was a parking lot just off the exit to a Walgreens. It was just to my right. I pulled into it and found an empty spot. Pulling into it, I shifted the stick into Park and took a deep breath. I felt their eyes on me and knew I shouldn't cry.

But I really fucking wanted to.

Cause I was so angry at myself.

I didn't want them here.

"Hey, Lena..." Skylar started.

"Just shut up guys, shut up." I huffed under my breath. I am sure they are surprised because I never spoke to them in this way. "I don't want to talk about it, I'm just happy with stressing about this. It will pass."

A moment went by and then Penny thought it was okay to talk.

"It won't just pass." her voice was soft.

I gripped the steering wheel, trying not to cry. I wouldn't cry, not here, not now, not over him. That was stupid. So stupid. Like it'd be wrong. My heart was racing and I felt like I couldn't breathe as my body shook uncontrollably.

"Are you having a panic attack?" Skylar asked, touching my arm.

"Yeah," I said like it was obvious.

As I turned to her, we both looked at my phone which just lit up on the center console. I swallowed hard as his name appeared on the screen, his face complimented it. She didn't go to grab it and I fought the instinct to take it. It just rang on and we were all silent and the tension killed every bone in my body, it was so thick, anyone walking five feet from us would feel it.

"Answer it," Penny said from the back.

Skylar didn't protest, so I reached for the phone, hit answer, and waited.