Imagines ; Kellin Quinn ♡

Avalanche

"Do you like her?" You asked daring, already knowing the answer..

"Kinda. " Kellin responded.

You collapsed to your knees at the sound of his words. You held your head in your hands. As you've heard those words so many times through out your life. Right there in front of him trying not to collapse and just burst. Just collapse and have that feeling of brokenness inside. Tears freshly formed into your eyes. Trying to hold them back was almost impossible.

"I'm sorry." He responded just looking at you with guilt. Not even comforting you, he didn't care. He didn't feel sorry for some loser like yourself or so you thought. Who would?

"No you're not.." You responded whipping my tears away.

"Yes I am." He responded giving you a questioning look.

"What's so wrong with me? What's so fucking wrong with me that this happens all the time? You don't care. No one does. If you did you would be comforting me. You wouldn't have chosen to develop feelings for another girl even though you claim to be "in love with me" what happened to that? What did I do? What do I ever do to deserve this..?" You gasped for air before I started to bawl my eyes out again. He tried to hold me but I pushed his hand away almost immediately.

"Just go. Just leave like fucking everyone does." I mentioned as you looked to the ground.

"I'm not leaving." He replied. You shook my head.

"You already did. You like her!" You yelled.

"I'm telling you I'm not leaving you and still say I am! Like why the fuck would I do that." He responded.

"Kellin. I don't see a point if you like her. If you like her what even are we? Do you see a point....?" You looked at him with pain in my eyes as he looked to the ground.

"Um. I don't know friends?!?" He looked up at you with his arms in the air.

"I fucking hate my life.." You laughed and then walked away from him.

"(Y/N)!" Kellin called out to you.

"Bye Kellin." You responded as you walked to your car and got in the drivers seat. You turned on the ignition and saw Kellin in the rear view mirrors. You took a deep breath and left the lot.

That night you felt so low. You were depressed and we're looking to your razor to take away the pain. The brokenness, the unworthiness, you didn't want to feel worthless. You didn't want to feel at all. You just wanted to be happy and forget. And your razor was the answer. But something stopped you. You had promised yourself again to never cut yourself over a boy. You've made that mistake once. And somehow you managed to not cut that night and cried yourself to sleep..

2 days later...

You were looking through your Facebook when his name appeared. Mentioning the girl. You u friend him but his friends were tagging in one of his posts. It had been two days. Two fucking days after he admitted to you he liked this girl. And he's already saying he loves her. Making it obvious and visible. You couldn't take it. It was evil and hurt so deep inside.

Did he really love me?

What were we?

When did he start talking to her?

Was I really nothing to him?

How can he move on that fast...

But everyone moves on. Leaves you for another, more important person, you reminded yourself.

Right. Of course.

And it was that moment that your phone flashed with a text message. His name appeared on your screen shocking you. You were hesitant to answer and didn't want to. But just to see he was texting you made you give in.

Kellin: hey. Just wanted to check if you were okay.

You: do you actually care?

Kellin: of course I do. (Y/N) ❤️

...was the heart really necessary jackass..?

You: I'm fine..

Kellin: I don't believe you. ❤️

You: Kellin I can't take this anymore. I don't want to feel like this. This always happens to me and I'm so tired of never being good enough or important enough for anyone. There's always some better which people leave me for. Always. Am I really nothing to you? Were we nothing? How could you move on that quickly? You say you love her already? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?! No you don't. And you don't care. No one does. I'm so done... I guess I never matter for anyone.

You sent the message as tears were flowing down your cheeks as you sat on your couch. You put your phone down and tried to calm yourself.

Then, your phone was ringing. It was Kellin. You threw your phone across the room and ran into the bathroom. You screamed and you rushed to find your only friend. Your tiny, metal, sharp, caring friend. The only one that mattered and was always there for you.

You finally grabbed it and looked at the tiny blade in your hand.

"Oh how I want to rip my skin apart..." You said to yourself out loud.

Right as you said that you heard the front door handle rattle. Then heard banging and yelling from outside. You shook your head and just tried to focus on what you needed to do. The door flung open to the sound of keys unlocking.

"(Y/N)!" Kellin yelled.

You quickly rolled up the sleeves of your shirt and rolled up your shorts as you sat on the side of the tub in the bathroom.

You didn't care he was here. You needed to make it go away now.

You closed your eyes as you took he first slice but a hand stopped you. A warm hand stopped you. You opened your eyes and there he was. Looking into your eyes with tears forming as his brown hair hung in his face. He held both of your wrists away and grabbed the blade out of your hand. You broke right then and there.

He immediately threw the blade down the toilet and flushed it as you exclaimed in sadness reaching out for it. He turned back over to you and grabbed your hands. Leading you to your room onto your bed. He held your hands and stood in front of you while you cried.

"H-how did you k-know..?" You asked him as you wiped away your tears.

"Because I know you." He replied with pain in his eyes.

"When I said I'm not leaving I meant it. And I still mean it. I'll never stop loving or caring about you. I still do. No matter what. But it was the drive here that made me realize how much I need you in my life. How much I love you, and only you. How much I need you (y/n). I love you and I'm not leaving. I promise." He looked into your eyes and caressed your cheek. Then he pressed his lips against yours.

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A/N: hey guys. I know I haven't updated anything in a while, but I started school and I've been very stressed and just low. People not being there for me, leaving me, not caring, I just haven't had much time committed to writing and just not feeling it. And whenever I write these imagines, I relate somehow or someway to each one. It's either happened, or I've come up with a way to twist them or get an idea for one.

I've been going through a lot of shit lately and I still feel like shit. But, I wanted to write because this related my situation and how I feel. Sorry if this was crappy. I'm half asleep writing this rn and I just wanted to let it out.

Stay strong. I love you guys.. 😣😞😩💜 thank you for over 1k reads omfg. 😭