I Ain't All Bad-Jelena Fanfiction

Chapter 22

Two Weeks later

Selena's POV.

Jason has been distant and I do not like it one second. He rarely talks to me which makes me feel hurt but then there's Ashley that comes and brightens my mood.

I don't know why it affects me so much. It's just that sometimes I feel lonely and when I go to talk to him, he always ignores me and leave. I have to admit that it hurts... a lot, I have turned back to cutting-not that I have stopped,I was on a break.

I only cut the insides of my thighs and on my upper stomach under my bra. I can't remember the last time he was actually in bed when I woke up, it was either he was not home or was sleeping on the couch. Not to mention, I've been getting some terrible nightmares.

Tonight was one of the nights where I was left alone in the bedroom to sleep, Jason was in his office doing 'work'.

I curled up under the blanket and thought of any distraction, but couldn't get any. I closed my eyes trying to ignore the stings from my cuts which were made yesterday afternoon, it was itching terribly bad. I was afraid of scratching them in case they began bleeding.

I suddenly got up because my throat felt dry. On the way to the kitchen, I passed Jason's office and heard him talking to someone over his iPhone.

"I know but she needs to go... I don't want her to-of course I know this is my fault but I couldn't leave her there to burn...I'll ask her to leave, tell her she's free"

What? he wants me to leave?

I have never felt like this, knowing that he wants me to leave... where will I go? I don't even have any money to survive one day by myself.

Then something clicked in my mind. He avoided me because he didn't want me anymore, I was a burden. No one can stand someone as messed up as me, it makes me wonder how did Ashley even get the guts to talk to me and be nice to me.

Nice.

Something I thought Jason was.I thought he had a heart, but in reality, no one has a heart towards me. Why am I feeling bad about it? It's what I deserve. I didn't deserve a friend like Ashley, or any good treatment from Jason.

I ran towards the room without Jason seeing me and quickly searched through the makeup purse Ashley left.I used one of the eyeliner sharpener blade which was hidden in a little pocket in the purse.

I walked into the bathroom and looked at my reflection.Worthless, good for nothing piece of shit. Why am I even here?

I raise my top and made one long deep cut as blood immediately came in sight, I made two more lines before sitting on the floor, I took off my sweat pants and reopened some cuts while creating some new ones.

After feeling at ease and some of the pain went away from my heart,I cleaned my cuts and put on back the sweatpants and pulled my top back down.

I washed my face then headed back to the room then realized that I hadn't gotten the water I wanted.

I once again went down the stairs to get my water and same time bumped into Jason.I avoided eye contact and went to pass him but he stopped me.

"I need to speak to you tomorrow morning" he said as I nodded looking at the floor."Were you crying? "he asks.