A Series Of Patrick Stump Imagines

A Fobulous Rant By The Author Herself!

      Okay, I need to get this out, so ere goes.
     A week ago, I asked Crush Number One to go to homecoming with me. It was through a note because I was afraid to get rejected right there on the spot. My friend who shall not be named gave Crush Number One the note. Anyway, the next day, he comes up to me, and he's like,"I might have a sport tournament that day, so I might not even go."

     I was chill about it, but today just killed me. So, in P.E., I go up to this girl — who shall not be named either — because she has a sign. I'm like,"Oooh who asked you to homecoming?"

     She looks at her bestie like should I really tell her? She says the guy's name, who happens to be my Crush Number One She who shall not be named awkwardly awaited my reaction. She and her bestie bith knew that I asked Crush Number One

Instead of freaking out, I keep the smile I have on my face and I say,"Oh, that's cool!"

And she's like,"You're not jealous or mad?"

And I'm like,"No, why would I be?"

And she who shall not be named is like,"Okay then."

And in my I'm like, I'M NOT OKAY (I PROMISE).

Now here's Part Two
     Crush Number Two is a senior and is also my backup crush. So, today, English, I needed to talk to my teacher  about sonething. Her second period is prep, so of course she has a T.A., and of course, it had to be Crush Number Two. Goddammit.
Anyway, Crush Number Two says,"Hey," and I'm like, "Don't I know you?" (We danced together at the back to school dance. And don't worry, we didn't fall apart to half time)

And Crush Number Two is like,"Yeah, we hung out t the back to school dance," and my teacher is like,"Oh, how wonderful it is you two know each other." She turns to me and says,"(Crush Number Two's Name) is in leadership, honey. You know, you should take it!"

And Crush Number Two is like,"It's a lot of fun"
And I'm like,"I can't, I take French and choir, and I can't do zero period in the morning because my sibling needs to get dropped off at a different school."

And my teacher is like,"Oh that's too bad." She turns to Crush Number Two and she's like,"You guys need to organize some sort of after school leadership. Phoenix here positively glows with leadership! She would be perfect for it! I mean, she wasn't afraid to come talk to me about something!"

And Crush Number Two like,"Oh yeah, we'll definately keep you in mind."

Now, I like being the center of attention, as a performer and all, but I do not like being the DIRECT center of attention. So I was very uncomfortable.

Anyway, I texted Crush Number Two a few minutes before I found out about Crush Number One and she who shall not be named, and I text,"Will you go to homecoming with me?"

Crush 2 texts,"Sorry I have a girlfriend."

Okay. Wow. I got rejected by two boys in five minutes.