swig sweg

two

"dehyde, you should be at the door taking people's coats you soggy piece of lettuce." it was five minutes until open house. you can bet we got the spongebob mac and cheese ready.

...

all the people who showed up were sat in a circle on a fabulous, one-of-a-kind, designer rainbow carpet. "good evening fellow homo sapiens," i started. "i'm so glad y'all came out to attend the very first meeting of the lizard support group! we are gonna have a bomb diggity good time!"

by now i could tell everyone was getting bored. even that one target employee from yesterday got up to leave.

"boy you better sit your booty back down on that carpet before i give you a whoopin!!" dehyde yelled.

"dehyde!! you fermented piece of cheese, where are your hospitality skills? anyways, let's get to know each other. dehyde why don't you start?"

dehyde stood up. "uhm hello. my name is formaldehyde but i go by the name dehyde. that's duh-high-dee. i love boiled eggs and the smell of plywood."

the circle of people went around. there was brydgit, arnold, maggie, victoria, benjamin, and helga.

"i am helga and i love arn- oranges. yes, yes i love mandarin oranges! and you-" she pointed to arnold, "i don't like you, you football head!" moving on, the group of target employees stood up.

"hiyahey we're foive seconds of summah! wait is it hi or hey?!? (is it hi or hey hahaha)"

i leaned over to whisper in dehyde's ear. "this is a load of barnacles." harreh styls popped outta the trash can behind us. "mhmm girl you got that right." he said before disappearing.

the giggly curly boy (wearing a rather interesting hat i might add) spoke up first. "hiii i'm ashton."

"i'm luek." the 28751975 foot tall blonde kid who i threw a box of macaroni at said.

tbh i'm kinda too lazy to introduce the rest of the boys but anyways...

"mikel." said the bleached blonde boy. out of nowhere, brydgit yelled out "ayy boy what's good??"

lastly was the last one. "i'm column." wHO DOES THIS KID THINK HE IS EATIN ALL THE SPONGEBOB MAC AND CHEESE??

"your band sucks lmao," maggie yelled.

"lol true. preorder our album sounds good feels good on itunes :-))" luek said.

i was not amused. this boy has the audacity to come under my  roof and self promo. no no no honey. i don't think so. 

"well... this has been... fun. uhm, okay you can leave my house now. bye."

they all left. victoria took all the scooby doo fruit snacks with her.

➳

the nickelodeon references :') column hood :') i cri