drowning ➶ larry

14. Gone

Mood: Home by Phillip Phillps

When Louis woke up, Harry was gone. He sat upright, looking around his room, his eyes landing on a note on the table by his bed. He picked it up, staring at the messy scrawl.

Lou,

Sorry I left all of a sudden. I had to go home. I took the book with me. I hope you don't mind. Again I'm sorry that I left but I left you my number. You can call me whenever.

                                                                                                                                     xx Harry

Louis stared at the note with a frown. On the bottom of the paper were some numbers. He instantly saved it to his phone and got out of bed. Jace was standing by the door looking at his nails in boredom.

"What do you want? Harry told me to stop listening to you." Louis mumbles, making his way past him and into the bathroom. He could hear his family in the living room. They're back from the back to school night thing.

"Stop listening to me? You can't do that. I'm in your fucking head." Jace replies, slipping into the bathroom with him.

"I can if I try." Louis pulled out all of his medication and took it, one by one. The strongest of his medication took effect within seconds, making his body feel like lead. He leaned against the sink and turned to find the bathroom empty.

He stalked out of the bathroom, stumbling downstairs, greeting his family.

"Has Harry left already?" Jayy asks and Louis nods.

"Well, come on, let's put a movie on." His stepdad, Dan, says as he seats himself on the couch.

"Have you eaten?" Jayy questions. Louis nods before taking a seat next to his sister, Lottie. They flip to a random comedy movie. Minutes pass in silence until Louis' head feels fuzzy.

"Lou? You okay?" Lottie whispers.

"Yeah. J-Just the meds." He admits, before his head lolls to the side. Jace was standing in front of him.

"How do you feel?"

"Like shit." He doesn't care that his family was staring at him with curious eyes. His head was too...confused to comprehend what was happening. The medication caused him to feel heavy and slow.

"Great. Now get up. I know you haven't forgotten about your blades. I want you to cut deeper than you've ever have."

Louis stood up.

He could hear his family's voices calling out to him but he ignored him. He felt his mum's hand on his.

"Let go, please." Louis begs, pulling away, "Jace wants me to do something."

With the word Jace, she flinched back, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth.

"L-Louis. Listen to me. J-Jace isn't real."

"I know. But he won't shut up if I don't do this." Louis explains. He quickly runs to the bathroom. He could hear his mother's footsteps running after him but he closed the door on her.

"Louis Tomlinson! Open this door! What does Jace want you to do?" He doesn't answer. Jace was sitting on the counter by the sink, smiling in a sickly manner that made Louis' stomach churn. He kneelt down and pulled out his bag of blades. His mum was pounding on the door, and he could faintly hear the twins crying in the other room.

"This is gonna feel so good. Trust me. It's going to feel better than anything those damn meds can do."

Louis trusts him. He pulls out a box cutter blade, shiny and unused. He pulls out his phone, sending a text to Harry.

Sorry.

He takes the blade and runs it across his left wrist. He lets out a hiss of pain and leans against the counter.

"Deeper."

He slices his wrist again, making a deeper gash. The pain is almost unbearable, dots of black blinding him.

He lets out a small yell as he does it on his other arm. Three gashes on each arm.

"Good. Now do a straight line down your arm."

Jace shows him, running his finger down his own arm.

"Won't that kill me?"

"Don't you want me to go away?"

He makes a good point. He takes a deep breath before bringing the blade to his left wrist. Instead of cutting sideways, he slashes his skin vertically.

So much blood. That's the first thing he thinks as he slowly crumples to the floor.

Is this how dying feels like? It's too bright. The bathroom lights blinded him. He tries to move but his body won't respond. He could hear the faint shouts of his mum on the other side of the door. Something about calling an ambulance.

"Doesn't this feel better?"

No. He thinks. His body had gone numb, his head was throbbing, and he felt dizzy. He could hear his phone ringing a few feet away from him. It's probably Harry. He hopes it's Harry. He tries to reach over to answer it, but he can't move. He starts to panic.

I don't want to die. It's the simplest truth in his life. His vision starts fading, the room starts shifting. His breaths come out in short puffs as he struggles.

Suddenly there is a crash, but he can't move to see what happened. Arms are wrapped around him, and he sees his mother's face yelling something at him but he can't hear. His dad runs in with a cloth. He wraps it around Louis' arms, trying to stop the blood, he guesses.

His head lolls to the side and he see's his sisters staring at him with horrified expressions.

How could he put them through this? He wanted to apologize but he couldn't find his lips to do so.

"Stay with me, love." His mums voice, rang in his ears.

He didn't feel it when Dan lifted him and carried him downstairs. How long has it been? A few minutes? Half an hour? He couldn't tell.

What he could tell was the fact that everything was burry. So blurry. Then he heard the sirens. Dan carried him outside just as an ambulance appeared, the lights blinding Louis. He was put on a stretcher, different things happening all at once. He didn't feel any of it.

Then he heard a voice. A beautiful voice, loud and deep. Maybe it was an angel. Louis never believed in angels or heaven but maybe it was all real.

Except the voice sounded in pain. It confused him. Angels should be happy. He inched his head to the side just as he was carried into the ambulance.

Harry yelling his name and struggling to get past Dan, who held him back was the last thing he saw. Before everything went dark.