drowning ➶ larry

16. Babysitter

Mood: Staying up by The Neighbourhood

Louis felt his face go slack.

When people look at the world they see it with color. They don't have time to look at everyone's expressions. Everyone's feelings. But Louis could see it. In his mothers face there was no remorse. She thinks that sending him back to the hospital is the only option. His father wasn't meeting his eyes. He was upset. He didn't want to send Louis back.

And Harry, oh Harry, he was angry. His face was contorted in fury.

"You can't send him back there!" Harry spoke up, causing Louis to flinch at his tone.

"I'm sorry Harry but this isn't really your place to speak."

"I know but have you learned nothing?" He asks. Jayy gasps.

"How dare--"

"How dare I? How dare you! Have you not seen what has happened to him since the hospital? He's doesn't need to go back to that place! What he needs is love and support from you two!" Harry's voice rose, anger seeping from his tongue.

Jayy's face reddened.

"Harry I think you should leave." She says.

"No." It was the first thing Louis said.

"What?" His mum asks.

"I said no. I'm not going back to that hospital. I'd rather..." He trails off.

"They help you over there! You need help!"

"I'm almost eighteen! You can't keep me in there after that!" Louis replies.

"Lou--"

"Stop. I'm not going. You'll have to drag me there." Dan hasn't said a word.

"I think he's right." He finally speaks up. Jayy looks at her husband with wide eyes.

"Why are you siding with him?" She asks.

"Because I think he's right. I think the hospital isn't the right solution."

"Then what do you propose?" She asks, crossing her arms.

"Just like Harry said. Love and support."

****

Louis was released from the hospital a few hours later. His mum didn't speak to him the whole ride home. Harry had went home, not before giving Louis a reassuring hand squeeze.

Once Louis had gone home he made his way to his room but his mum stopped him.

"We won't take you back to the hospital but...your not to be left alone at any given point."

"You can't watch me all the time."

"That's true. So if I can't watch you, your sisters will and if they can't, well...Harry will."

"I don't need a babysitter." Louis responds.

"Yes you do. Now sit in the living room."

"What about when I go to sleep?" Louis retorts but takes a seat anyway, "are you going to watch me then?"

"I'm thinking about installing a camera in there."

"That's an invasion of privacy!" He couldn't believe she would actually think of that.

"Well you're leaving me no choice!"

"How about trusting me?!"

"I tried and look how that turned out!" Dan put a hand on Jayy's shoulder, silently telling her to calm down.

Louis fell silent and looked down at his hands. This was all his fault.

"You're so desperate for a blade that even your parents don't trust you anymore. How pathetic."

Louis blinked away tears because it's true. So true.

His sisters were all on the stairs, glancing around the wall, wondering why their family was arguing.

"Mum?" It was Lottie.

"Yes honey?"

"Are you okay?" Jayy nods before ushering her and the others upstairs until it was just her and Louis.

She was about to speak before Louis stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk. You obviously don't want me around you. I'm just making it ideas for you."

"I do want--"

"Just leave it alone mum."

"You can't go out alone."

"I'll invite Harry. Or someone I don't know." With that Louis leaves, leaving his mum tears brimming at her eyes.

****

He didn't know where he was going. He pulled out his phone and dialed Harry's number. He answered after the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Harry?" Louis felt like crying and he didn't know why.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just--can you come to the park? The one on Maine street?"

"Yeah sure. I'll be there in a few." With that they hung up. Louis sighed and continued walking. He stared at the stained gauze wrapped around his arms. He hated it. He hated everything.

He made his way to the park and sat on one of the swings. This was the place it all began.

Louis was six when he first really noticed Jace. He was playing on the playground when some kid had started talking to him. Louis didn't know him but he liked making friends. They ended up sitting in the sandbox talking for a few minutes. His mum had found him and asked who he was talking to. His answer was simple. Jace.

He held onto the railings of the swing, moving slowly. He took a deep breath.

"Hey." He jumped at the voice. Harry stared back at him with a sad smile.

"Hi."

"How are you?" He asks taking a seat on the swing parallel to Louis.

"Fine I guess." Louis replied staring ahead, "My mum said I'm going to have someone watch me all the time if I don't want to go back to the hospital."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Harry didn't know what to say. He never knew what to say when people bared their thoughts to him.

"It's fine. I'll get used to it." Louis said but flinched and glanced at his side.

"What is he saying?" Harry knew it was Jace.

"That I won't get used to it." Louis shrugs. Harry sighs. Louis stares at the playground again.

"What's the significance of this place?" Harry asks suddenly. Louis sighs and points to a small part of the playground. It was a part in between the slide and the small ladder. It was a small platform. Harry stared at it for a long time before turning to Louis for answer. The small boy didn't take his eyes away from the playground when he answered. 

"This is where it all began."