drowning ➶ larry

25. Lost Beneath the Waves

Dedicated to extraodinary-harry for the lovely cover.

Mood: River of Tears by Alessia Cara

When Louis wakes up, he could hear someone crying. He opens his eyes to find a disheveled Harry, with his head against the railing of the bed.

"H-Har--" the boy looks up with wide eyes and grips Louis' small hand in his. He starts crying again, sobbing harder than before, becoming a spluttering mess within seconds. Louis tries to calm him down, telling him it'll be fine.

The small boy tries to sit up but a shocking pain at the bottom of his back has him whimpering and falling against the bed.

"Are you okay, Lou? Do I-I need to call a doctor?" Harry rushes. Louis bites his lip, shaking his head as tears prick at his eyes.

Memories flood back to him and he sniffles, wiping at his eyes. He was so stupid. How could he have been so stupid and walk out by himself? He curls into himself, pain becoming almost unbearable, shooting from every inch of his body.

"Don't move, baby. Stay still." Harry pleads, hands hovering over Louis, trying to help in some way.

The small boy whimpers, wiping at his eyes. He feels pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. He felt stupid and worthless.

Just then the door opened and a doctor walked in, smiling grimly at Louis.

"You're awake." He says, looking down at how clipboard, writing down some things. It's silent for a few moments.

"We'll have to run some more tests and ask some questions. Are you in pain? Do you feel dizzy or lightheaded in any way?"

"I–my back hurts. And–and my bum." Louis stutters and the doctor nods.

"I'll bring some pain pills." Louis nods and the doctor leaves again. Harry is squeezing his hand tightly, muttering under his breath.

"I'll kill them. How could someone do this to you? My baby..." Louis sniffles quietly and holds Harry's hand.

Just then the door opens and Jay and Dan walk in. Jay had fresh tears in her eyes as she crouches by Louis, holding his free hand and kissing it softly.

"My baby, are you okay?" Jay cries out, covering her mouth with a shaking hand.

"I–I don't know—" Louis' head throbs and he feels like vomiting but he has nothing in his stomach. He leans over the bed and dry heaves, coming up empty.

"Lou, baby, it's okay." Jay says, rubbing his back softly. Louis doesn't have the heart to tell her that nothing will ever be okay again.

The doctor walks back in with some pills and a small cup of water. He hands it to Louis, explaining that it will ease the pain. The small boy takes it gratefully, the drugs taking effect after a few minutes.

Harry sits by his side while his mother leaves grudgingly and his father trails behind her. He stays for as long as he can until visiting hours are over and he's escorted out, promising to be back the very next day.

****

Louis is released the week after he was brought into the hospital. He was glad to leave. He couldn't stand the horrible sterile smell or the inedible food or the grumpy nurses. But.

He didn't want to go home either.

He didn't want to be met with the stares of his family. He didn't want their worried glances or their concerned actions. He knew they would be watching over him and he doesn't know if he will be able to handle it.

When he gets home, he makes a beeline for his room, ignoring the worried calls and locking himself in his room.

"At least you're not a virgin anymore." Jace says and Louis lets silent tears fall down his cheeks, curling into his bed. He wants the bed to cave in and take him with him. He shakes uncontrollably, his small frame trembling.

Memories wash through his head and all he can think about is the mans hands on him, his lips, his body. He heaves over the side of his bed, trying to vomit but nothing comes up.

A knock at his door knocks him out of his reverie.

"Louis? Honey, let me in." It was his mother. He could hear her searching for the spare key to his room and he curls into himself more, willing for her to just go away and leave him be.

The door opens and Louis lets out a guttural moan. Jay moves toward him.

"No! Stay away! Get out! Get out! Get out!" Louis screams, voice breaking at the end from the loudness of his tone. Jay flinches but keeps her ground.

"Baby, I just want to—"

"Leave me alone! Get out!" The small boy cries. Jay backs away slowly and takes one last glance at her broken boy before shutting the door behind him.

Once Louis is left alone, he screams.

He screams until he can't anymore, until his voice his raw and his throat is aching. He screams until he can't feel anymore. He claws at his body, leaving red marks varying in length, until he's sane.

He needs to stay sane.

"You're finally breaking. What a beautiful sight it is." Jace says. Louis stares at the boy with narrowed eyes, cheeks stained with tears. He doesn't dare argue with him. He's right. He's finally breaking.

He curls into himself again, throwing the blanket over himself as a way to be one with the darkness. He wishes the world would just disappear and he could escape.

But he knows that's not possible. He will have to live like this for the rest of his life. But.

Maybe he can make himself disappear.

-----

yooo I'm back, idek if anyone will even read this book anymore but yeah.

Sorry for the short chapter. The next one will be much longer.

Stay safe. Love you guys xx