Two shits.

Chapter 4 No one can know

Kyle lay beside me. Our breathing is still slowing down. I put my hand beneath his jawline and stroke his face with my thumb. We exchange smiles and hold each other close.

"How was your first day back home?" He asks.

I smirk. "T'was eventful."

He smiles at me and my forehead leans against his. We lock eyes. I'm taken back to a dream I had six years ago. The longest dream I'd ever had. It lasted a week. I was with Kyle. Nobody was around. We would lay so close together. His spiraling Jew-fro would lay untamed on the pillowcase where my hands loved to play around with it, and he let me. He let me because he loved me. I never wanted to wake up from that coma. I couldn't stop myself. Though now I know if I'd never woken up, I would never get to feel the way that I do right now. Stronger than ever. In more places than ever.

"No one can know?" Kyle raises his hand up and places it on my neck. He rubs his fingers along the back of my neck, closer to my shoulders.

"Not what happened here tonight. Will this stay in between us only?" I whisper.

He nods. I grab his hand and hold onto it. I feel so happy. Just being around him makes me happy, let alone laying beside him and touching him and doing the things we shouldn't do.
Kyle examines my chest, running his free hand gently over faded bruises.

"Did that foster home do this to you?"

I see no use in lying anymore, since it is all in the past.
"Yes, Kyle, but before you go on this whole speech about how I'm safe now, I already know. You make me safe. You make me happy. I don't want to be without you anymore."

He pauses for a moment then smiles. "Someday I'm going to die, or you're going to die. I just pray that whichever happens first, you and I will be together when it happens. I want to spend my last few seconds looking at all I need; you. And when it happens, want to be holding your hand. I want to know that the one thing I'll have when I die is my one true friend. My super best friend. My lover."

I feel tears starting to form in my eyes. I don't ever want him to leave me. He can't die. Not until I die. I pull him in close and hold him to my chest. We lay bare in the dark beneath the sheets. My arm stretches around Kyle while I stroke his arm with the edge of my fingers.
I look at the clock that reads 1:34 AM. We've been up for a while now. Kyle seems to be falling asleep. I love him. It's so cute how I can feel his tiny breaths from his nose gently brush against my skin. His messy hair just barely covers his eyes. I don't want to touch a thing. I don't want to ruin how perfect this is right now. His skin is so pale in comparison to mine. I must have gotten a little darker after being away from the mountains for so long. It doesn't really matter though. Kyle's paleness just makes him even cuter. I just want to lay like this forever. The things that happened tonight have changed me. No one can know. I can't sleep. I still can't wrap my head around it. I just lost my virginity to my life long best friend. Now I'm afraid of losing him. What if this doesn't mean anything to him? When he was talking about Bebe, he acted like it was just a joke. He even said he didn't have a thing for guys. Have I just made a mistake? I guess I'll just have to face it in the morning. I'll know if I wake and he's still right here on my chest, still willing to love me. For now I'll just stay up for a bit. I kiss the top of his head and close my eyes. Might as well enjoy the moment while it lasts.