Two shits.

Chapter 5 shit.

"Stan!" I barely hear a voice call to me. "Stan wake up! Please!" I'm lifted up and set down on a flat surface. Someone's squeezing my hand. I can feel myself near the point of vomiting. Nothing seems real. My muscles start to spasm. I'm not in control of my own body. I cough up what seems like blood. All I can taste and smell is blood. What's happening to me? I try to open my eyes only to be greeted to bright lights. Am I dying?

I wake up. Thank god it was only a dream, but what was that all about? Who was calling to me? I see Kyle lying next to me.

"Stan... Are you okay?" he places his hand on my chest and I'm immediately reminded of what had happened last night.

"Yes." I rub my eyes. "Why, what happened?"

"Well we were both just asleep, and suddenly you started breathing heavily and began coughing. I woke up because I was worried. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm alright, Kyle." I hold his hand. "Now lets get dressed before my mom comes in and finds out."

I kiss his lips and we sit up. He doesn't get out of bed quite yet.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He looks me dead in the eyes. "My asshole. It hurts."

I struggle to hold in my laughter. "Do-do you need assistance."

He tries to act unamused, though he, too, can't keep a straight face. "No, I can just walk it off."

I watch him as he stumbles around the room to pick up his clothes.
I did that.
I wish I could be all mighty and proud of it, but something's keeping me back. I just did the unspeakable with my best friend. If there is some spiritual creature up there, I just sinned against whatever it may be. I feel like I'm about to be punished for it. I'm not used to anything in South Park anymore. Last night shouldn't have even happened now that I think of it. How unrealistic that I've been gone for six years and the very first night I come back, I fuck my only friend who I've been able to keep communication with but only through letters. I don't believe he really waited all that time. He must have been desperate for last night to be real. I have all of the evidence, though. I have the vivid memory of each moment we shared together. We woke up naked together. He even said his ass hurts. Does this mean it was true love or desperation? I'll choose to believe what will make me feel better and hope I'm right.
I pull my shirt on over my head and put some pants on. I stand by my bedroom door waiting for Kyle to finish getting dressed before we head downstairs and go meet up with more people. We're all going out for breakfast and then to hang out after. It'll be cool to see everyone again. Yesterday, the word had spread about my return. I'd forgotten how many friends I have in South Park. The fact that they still remember me makes me realize how small this town is. I mean it's been six years. I haven't even spoken to many of these people until yesterday.