They Say It Heals With Time? A Mortal Instruments Fan fiction: Clace

City of Realisations

Alec

I signed my name on the paper and put it in an envelope addressed to the London Institute. I had to write to the families of Bethan, Helena and Ashton to inform them on the progress they were making. After an hour of writing exaggerated positive feedback and all the imaginable courtesies my head was foggy and I was in need of a break. As I gathered the letters for posting I could hear the sound of the piano being played mercilessly. The music drifted from the library in waves of complex notes which turned into a stroppy discord. Though it was unbearable, I smiled to myself. I wonder what Jace is upset about now.

Not long after it had started, the piano playing had stopped completely. On my way to see Isabelle I checked in the library. Like the music, Jace had been and gone already. The only trace of him was the piles of sheet music left in disarray on the piano top, practically illustrating his dramatic tendencies. He must be upset, I thought. It was unlike him to tolerate such a mess. On the top of the masses of paper was a wad of music sheets crumpled together. I felt my eyebrows knit together with thought as I unfurled the mess. Music of Rachmaninoff and various other composers were the recipient of Jace's frustrations. He hadn't played any of these in ages, possibly years. Maybe he was beating himself up because he could no longer play them, that was a rational explanation but as Alec knew well enough, Jace was never as he seemed and hardly ever conformed with the rational thought process. 

He would just have to wait and see what happened when he came back. Years ago he would have worried intensely over what Jace could possibly be doing but he and Jace had grown up a lot since then. Though sometimes it was debatable, Jace could look after himself. Jace could be trusted. After all, he was under a lot of stress at the moment, he deserved to be given a break. 

Jace 

Though the air was cold, the sun was bright in the sky and it felt like summer. I walked around the streets of New York alone, trying to make sense of my feelings. Thankfully, my headache had been erased by fresh air and the distraction of the bustling streets but I could still feel an uncomfortable ache in my chest. Thoughts rushed around my head and wouldn't leave me be for a moment. The stress of having to train Bethan was getting to me and had opened the floodgates to other startling realisations. One of them being that I was still painfully in love with Clary.

I thought I was over it, I made myself think I was over it. Apparently it's not as easy as that. It turns out, it's easy to love someone from miles away. You hardly even notice it. When the only contact you have with them is the image you paint in your head of course you can tell yourself that they haven't forgotten you either. Another wave of despair hit me as I pulled my leather jacket around me, I had to sort this out but it seemed impossible. 

After walking through the park and then going for coffee, I felt a little better. I was starting to make peace with it all and that could only be a good thing. If anything, I was thankful that I had matured enough to refrain from throwing myself at excessive amounts of alcohol and women when I had a problem. At least debauchery  wouldn't be a catalyst to my downwards spiral. 

I remembered how bad I had felt this morning and the mess I'd made, I had tried to play songs that I had ignored for years. They all reminded me of Clary somehow, some sheet music she had bought me or even the songs I'd played when she was around. I couldn't play them, my hands were too tense and couldn't move fast enough to play the notes. I sighed lightly and I suddenly had an idea.

I would start again and I would learn new songs. I would relax and give things a chance and everything will be okay again. So what if I care for Clary? I can still live my life, obsessing will do nothing but hurt me. I will eventually forget about her, they say it heals with time don't they? My new purpose guided me towards the nearest music shop, where I would purchase new music and put a whole new meaning into it. I felt stupid that I had to do it this way but I guess you need to help yourself out sometimes and give yourself a break. I had spent so long pretending to have no feelings and not letting myself think anything through. This time was different, this time I would be fine for good. 

I walked down the street, lost in thought. My head full of reassurances and an optimism I hadn't felt for a long time. The sound of laughter coming from the other side of the street distracted me. I glanced over to see a group of people who at first glance I didn't know. Then as my eyes focused and crowds shifted I could see none other than Clary walking side by side with Hunter and their friends. Fate is a crazy motherfucker, I thought as I carried on walking. I didn't want to catch Clary's attention, she'd be kind and call me over to talk to them and I didn't know whether I'd be able to bear it. 

Eventually I reached the music shop and I went inside. I surprised myself immensely, I was calmer than I had been all day and my spirits had not been dampened. I was not conflicted at all on what I was going to choose and quickly paid for them.

I walked home with the bag of music sheets in hand. The bag full of music that was exactly the same as what I had ruined this morning. On seeing Clary and Hunter together I realised something. I loved Clary and that guy she was with is a twat. There is no way I'm going to give up on her due to something like that. Over all these years, I've been almost everything to her. I've been the asshole blonde guy, the guy who always saves her, the love of her life and by the Angel, even her brother!  Over all odds I've always won her over and I'm not going to let this fade into nothing. It's too important to me. I know this just can't be it. I can be the love of her life again, I can get her back.

Hey guys!

I'm really sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. Thank you for all the reads and comments, it really means a lot to me. I hope you like this update, I would love to hear what you think of it. 

Sorry if there are any mistakes because this is unedited.

Love from,

Becca 

xx