Should've Been Us (Camren)

V

Lauren's POV

When I opened my eyes the next morning, the sun beaming through my window burned my eyes and made my head spin. What the hell happened last night? How much did I have to drink? I rolled over in bed, noticing a lump that's not usually there. "Oh my God, I slept with Normani." I spoke under my breath. This shouldn't have been a surprise for me. I knew we were going to hook up the minute I found out she was the one texting me yesterday.

A wave of guilt came over me. I've been casually seeing Camila for years now, and at the first sign of temptation I cave. For a moment I wondered if I should tell her what happened. We aren't together, but I know she has deep feelings for me. This news would crush her. I quickly decided against telling her because we already haven't been talking and I kind of care about her. Ignoring the issue will most likely be catastrophic, but I pushed it to the back of my mind for now.

Normani began to stir next to me, and she slowly opened her eyes, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "Good morning." I spoke gently to avoid startling her. "Hey. Morning." She replied back. "Last night was... Fun." Normani smirked at me. "I have no recollection of last night. Last I remember we were arriving at the club. What happened?" I questioned the beautiful woman next to me. "We danced for a while at the club, until you were too intoxicated to stand properly." She recounted. "Then we got home and you had your way with me. Four times. And wow, you have improved since our high school days!" The ebony woman said with a wink.

I felt my face heat up in slight embarrassment. "Aw baby don't blush! You're amazing! We need to stay in touch more, I've missed having you around!" I grinned widely at the model. "I've missed you too Mani. Do you want to grab some breakfast? My head is pounding." "Sure thing babe!" We both got out of bed to start getting ready. "Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw there on the way out. Camila! I have not seen her in many years and if you weren't so wasted, I would've talked to her. Small world isn't it?"

My entire body went numb and I'm sure my face looked like I'd seen a ghost. "Y-you saw Camila?" I choked. "Yeah, she looked really upset. Maybe someone stood her up or something." I didn't say anything, I just stood there in shock. "Are you okay Lo?" The darker girl asked worriedly. "No, I-I think I should stay home and you sh-should go." I stuttered quietly. "Are you sure? I can stay with you if you want?" I shook my head. "No you should go, I don't want to get you sick."

Normani finished putting on her clothes and hugged me goodbye. "I'll be here a few more days. Hopefully, if you're feeling up to it, we can see each other again before I leave to Australia?" "Yeah, sure." I said while getting back into my bed. "Thanks for the good time Mani. Bye." "Bye Lauren." The older woman said eyeing me suspiciously. Once I heard the door shut, I face palmed myself. How could I be so careless? Camila wasn't even the 'party girl' type. What the hell was she doing there?

I laid in bed the entirety of the day. I brought this on myself, but it didn't stop me from sulking. She knows I was with someone else and I don't know how to approach her to tell her how terrible I am. As if I need to say it. I'm constantly acting like I don't care, but I feel like I have to in order to keep my distance. I don't want to fall for another person again. I came to the conclusion that I'd text Camila tomorrow so we can talk in person.

The next day I tried really hard to work up the courage to text Camila. I spent half the morning taking my phone out of my purse, only to return it a few minutes later. By lunch, I was finally ready to confront the younger woman. I sent her a text saying that her and I needed to speak and anxiously awaited her reply. Several hours had passed, and I gave up waiting for her to respond. Just as I was about to put my phone away, it vibrated. Taking a deep breath, I opened the message. All she said was, "Okay."

I don't know why I was so nervous to talk to her. It could be the fact that I'm a fuck up who can't do anything right, or maybe it was the fear that she'd tell me she's done with the bullshit. I had never had a successful relationship and I was convinced that I never will. That shouldn't be an excuse to make poor decisions though. Camila is actually a sweet girl and I'm causing her so much damage, but I can't stay away. There's just something about her that keeps me coming back, even though I try to tell myself she's annoying. Camila deserved better than me.