Should've Been Us (Camren)

XI

Camila's POV

After my run, I was still conflicted with what I wanted to do with my troubled relationship with Lauren. For the most part she made me happy, but there were times like this, when we're fighting that makes me second guess everything. There's no way I want to end things with her. If I do, I know I'll be a depressed mess. Being with her helps suppress the bad thoughts that usually plague my mind. Sometimes I wish I had someone to vent to. Dinah is pretty much the only friend I have to confide in. I'm sure by now she's sick of hearing me whine about my problems with Lauren.

I was feeling pretty lethargic, but hopped into the shower to rid myself of the sweat I had accumulated during my run. In the shower I cried my eyes out. I don't know why things are so hard for me. If I'm being honest, I'm tired of feeling like a worthless piece of shit. My own parents didn't want me, how could Lauren even want anything to do with me? No wonder we aren't talking, I can't do anything right. Working at a dead end job was starting to take its toll on me as well. I had no desire to take the steps towards making positive improvements to my life. School would be my best option, but I would probably end up flunking out. Might as well save my money.

Once I felt most of my tears were all cried out, I allowed myself to leave the comfort of the warm water and dry off. Keeping up with my lethargic state of mind, I put on sweats and a large t-shirt, not even bothering to hang up my sopping wet towel or comb my hair. I shuffled into the kitchen, opened up the cabinet I stored booze in, and helped myself to a bottle of rum. "What even is a glass?" I say aloud to no one, and took a pull from the bottle. Drinking enough until I was numb, I plop down on the floor of my living room and just lie there. My thoughts swimming violently through my head. Maybe I don't even deserve to be alive.

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Dinah's POV

Promptly after my encounter with Lauren, I made my way towards work. For the majority of my walk, I revisited the events that took place moments ago. Never in a million years did I think I'd ever have to lay a hand on her. We've known each other since high school and she had always been such a kind soul. Slowly but surely I began to feel bad for my actions. Sure, I could have talked to her in a civil manner, but sometimes I cannot contain my anger for the life of me. I've always felt the need to protect Mila, she's been fragile ever since I first met her. Maybe it's time for her to fight her own battles.

Breezing through work, and now off for the rest of the day, I decided to swing by Lauren's place to apologize. Upon my arrival, I realized that I didn't know if she was going to be home or not. But I didn't have her number, how convenient. I knocked on the appropriate door firmly and stood back to wait for her to answer. Two green eyes wearily showed themselves from behind the door. "Uh, Dinah. What are you doing here?" Her raspy voice let out. "Can I come in? I wanted to talk about what happened earlier." She stood out of the way to let me inside her home.

We wandered into her kitchen, she positioned herself on the counter and folded her arms over her chest. "What is it Dinah?" I sighed and looked her in the eyes for a moment. "Well I stopped by to tell you how sorry I am for coming here to attack you. It was wrong of me and I've felt awful about it all day." Lauren searched my eyes for sincerity as if she couldn't hear it dripping from my voice. "I suppose I forgive you. Don't let it happen again though." She said looking at her hands sitting in her lap. "Thank you Lauren." I responded graciously while stroking her thigh gently. Her eyes shot up to mine. "What are you doing there Dinah?"

Truthfully speaking, I'd always been attracted to Lauren. Everything about her is amazing, from her physique to her brilliant mind that she rarely showcases anymore. Recently I was jealous of Mila and Mani because they both got to have a taste of Lauren. There was this insatiable desire inside me that wanted a taste too. "Do you not like this?" I said in a low voice, still running my hand along the length of her thigh. Her eyes instantly darkened, and she gulped loudly. In the back of my mind I knew Lauren had little will to control her urges, and I was more than willing to use that against her to get what I wanted. The older woman hopped down from the counter, pulling me close to her, and spinning us around so that I was pinned against the counter.