Write About Me

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Point of View

June 5th, 2011 - Manhattan, New York

Phabiola Fenty.

"Yes mom, I have my bachelor's degree in literature. I'm a college graduate!" I screamed into my iPhone 4, still in my white cap and gown.

I cannot believe I literally just graduated college. To be twenty-two and finish college? Accomplishment.

"We're proud of you Phabi!" I heard my family shout into the receiver of my mother's phone.

I giggled lightly, walking in my stilettos the short walk to my midnight black Maserati.

"I'll be seeing you all in the course of several hours!" I shrieked. Ending the call.

I was so fucking enthusiastic to meet my family. For twenty-two years, I've been stripped of that bond. Being able to go back home to where I came from, seeing and meeting people who stemmed my Bajan roots. Everything was packed, and shipped prior to my leaving. All I had was one carry-on luggage. The last of my things. I placed all my bare necessities in the suitcase. Getting into my car, I put the key in ignition, clicking my seatbelt speeding off to the graveyard. I had one last goodbye before my flight.

Arriving to the site in Harlem, I opened the my door grabbing the bouquets of white and red roses. In my cap in gown, I marched up the hill, in search for the burial ground.

"Joyce Hawkins.." I spoke above whisper.

I crouched down to her stone, replacing the old white roses, with the new ones. Stroking her stone. I delicately kissed it.

"Momma J, your time with me here on earth, was nothing but a blessing. I truly never felt as if you left I always carry you in my spirit. You were truly an angel. I love you so much. Sometimes, I often wonder what life would be like if you were still here.. But, you're in a better place now." I wiped a stray year that had fallen.

Then I looked over to Chris' stone, replacing the previous bouquet of roses with the new ones.

"There's nothing I can say to mend the pain of you being gone. This is the karma I get for neglecting you. I regret every second not spent with you. I don't wanna get too emotional. I graduated college today!" I laughed as a few tears trickled down my olive cheeks. "Bachelor's degree in literature. I'm going back home today, too. For good. Too many bad memories live here, including the death place of you and Momma J. So this is a see you soon.." I sniffled, kissing his stone.

Standing back on my own two feet, I dusted off my white gown. Walking away, never daring to turn back around. It's been six years without Chris. To say things got better would make me a liar. They're just manageable. Well at least I won't be here to have a constant reminder of how unhappy I truly am. Slipping off my gown, my white romper that showcased one of my newest tattoos was now on display, taking off my cap, I ran my fingers through my unshaved hair. Throwing my cap and gown in the back, I placed my shades on my eyes putting on my seatbelt again I raced on down towards the Van Wyck to get to JFK airport. My luggage was in the trunk. Nothing here remained but my car, suitcase and I.

I had already seen the guys. They had to leave immediately after. Trey couldn't make it, but he did call me earlier this morning. Saying how he'd come see me soon. Last time I saw him was four months ago, for my birthday. Forrest came with him, too. I was very glad he and his brother fixed their communication. Bami had to be the one to take it the worse, she's gotten so big. She's now eleven years old. Eleven. Brianna didn't take it to well at my graduation. I promised her that I'd call often, answer every call. Also to come visit her whenever I can. That had to be the hardest thing for me personally.