Write About Me

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Caesura

June 6th, 2011 - Bridgetown, Barbados

Phabiola Fenty.

I peeled my eyes open, breathing in a heavy breath of air. The sunlight lit the room I was resting in. The weirdest dream I must've had last night. I may've been so high I hallucinated again. Yawning and stretching, my body turned to face the opposite direction of which I laid. Chris' eyes bore right into mine.

"G'morning my little Edgar Allen Poe." He greeted, with a deep and raspy baritone voice.

I jumped slightly, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. My left hand slowly caressed his face. I hadn't even noticed his arms were around me. His cheek felt warm against my mildly trembling Palm. Chris smiled at the contact.

"Y-you're really here. You're r-really alive. Everything that happened yesterday... Really happened?" I spoke dry but, frantically.

He nodded, and we stayed like this for a few seconds before he spoke up.

"I didn't wanna wake you by getting up. Plus that means I don't get to hold you if I would've gotten up. So I decided to stay laying with you." Chris shrugged, his hands caressing my waist.

My mind still raced over everything that happened yesterday. It was allot to take in. First, meeting my sibling. I never even knew that I had a brother on my father's side. The experience warmed my heart. I was glad to find out I had a brother. I was a big sister to someone. Wow..

Then to put the icing on the cake, Chris actually being a living, breathing soul. Everyone knowing except for me. When it all boiled down to it I understood. But, that doesn't change the fact that this is all so shocking to me. If I weren't strong, I would've been too overwhelmed by it.

The confession of his love to me had to be the absolute cherry on top. My heart fluttered with a feeling of completeness. For so long, I've regretted not expressing the feelings I felt towards Chris when I had the chance to. Not knowing that he'd been dealing with if far longer. My rejection of my mother's words saying this would happen came back to haunt me. And I probably hurt his feelings numerous times by saying the things I'd say about us. God, how could I be so stupid? I'm still young, a bit naive to people's feelings I guess. After all, Chris was right. How could I love him when I don't know what it is or looks like yet?

"Chris, I'm so sorry.." I said sympathetically.

His face frowned up in confusion, he's so cute when his eyebrows knit together like that.

"For what Phabi?" Chris' right hand traveled my clothed torso slowly.

I tucked my lips in, trying to find words to sum up what I'm apologizing for.

"Everything.. Walking over your feelings, not expressing mine sooner. Pushing you away-"

Chris cut me off placing his right index finger to my lips. Our eyes searching eachothers.

"Don't, don't do that." Chris' deep raspy morning voice calmed me.

Never really took into thought how good it sounds filling my ears. Sighing, I let myself relax under his piercing eyes and enticing gaze. What on earth is he doing to me? I can feel my palms moisten and butterflies swarm around in my abdomen. I feel so nervous. Like I'm about to stumble over my words if I speak again. It was the moments. The moments we shared together in the past. Now, in the present. My heart danced to the song of his irises as I kept getting lured in, hypnotized by the beat my mind swayed to it. His digit removed from my lips allowing me to speak.