Do You Remember? (EXO Chen)

Love Has no Bounds

Whatever it was, I would never know. But at that very moment, without hesitation, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his.

After a few heartbeats, I pulled back, my eyes wide with shock. I had no idea what had possessed me at that very moment, but I knew that that fearlessness was gone now.

Chen's eyes were equally wide, which wasn't surprising at all. What was I thinking? An idol and trainee relationship? That would cause a huge scandal. Not to mention..........he was my sister's favorite first. Never mine.

"Sorry," I whispered, desperately wanting to erase that look of surprise, that look of confusion on his face. There was nothing for him to be confused about.

He wasn't for me.

I took a step back slowly, and paused. I had learned from long ago that running from problems never made them better. If anything, they often became worse.

"Look," I began, meeting his eyes after a brief moment of hesitation. He stared back at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

The words were right on the tip of my tongue. The standard apology. I'm sorry I did that, it was a mistake. Can we just pretend like it never happened, and just go back to being friends?  But somehow...I couldn't find the will to say those words. Maybe because they were jut too cliché...or because I knew I would be lying. And though I didn't want to admit it, I knew there was a small part of me that wanted to stay silent to see Chen's reaction.

I took a deep breath, and looked at him straight in the eyes, "you can go assume what you want, and not believe me at all. But I honestly have no idea where that came from.......and I'm sorry."

The first words that came out of my mouth after I kissed him were I'm sorry. Now they were the words that I wanted to leave him with. But was an apology really right for situations like these? What did I have to be sorry for?

I'm not saying sorry to Chen. I'm saying sorry to my unni.

I took a few steps back, and once it began evident that Chen wasn't going to say anything, I turned around and walked away, never turning back.

Because turning back meant regrets, and I have had too many regrets already for me to add another one to the list.

                                                                   *                                    *                                  *

"Again!" the dance instructor clapped, and we got into our starting positions once again. My breaths were coming out in short puffs, and I could see from the mirror that everyone was just as tired as I felt. But nobody complained, and nobody asked for a break.

It was competition.

We went through the entire dance again, before the dance instructor finally let us leave. It was already 2 a.m., and we had been training since 7 p.m.

"Hey," Michael flopped down beside me, picking up his water bottle, "how come you don't talk so much about EXO anymore?"

I gave him a shrug, and sighed, "I don't know.......I guess I'm just not so obsessed with them anymore."

"Says the one who was caught doodling the EXO-logo during our 5 minute break time today," Michael pointed out with a shake of his head, "now tell me the truth."

"I've.........been avoiding them?" though it came out like a question, I just wanted to give Michael the benefit of the doubt. The truth was, I had been avoiding all the members ever since what happened with Chen. It had already been about 1 month and a half since I had last talked to them. And even if they were looking for me, they wouldn't have a lot of time since they were preparing for their Japanese debut that was going to happen soon.