fractures

different without you

Layne

Today is going to be terrible.

Why? There are three reasons.

1# There's two tests today that I didn't study for because I spent the past two weeks moping around and sleeping.

2# My dad left today on a business trip for the next week so I'll have to take a crammed bus to school for the next five days.

3# My mum is somehow angry at me all of a sudden for no reason at all.

These are the three reasons that have made my already pessimistic thoughts even worse.

Sighing, I rub the sleep from my eyes as I make my way down the staircase of my house. School is a fifteen minute bus ride away and I'm definitely not looking forward to the ride. I feel a pang of sorrow as I remember how I didn't use to mind because Marlene was there.

Marlene, things are really different without you.

I say goodbye to my mother in the kitchen who just plain ignores me. I squint against the glaring sun that greets me as I open the door.

"Good morning to you too," I mutter.

This just goes to prove how lonely I am. I've probably already said good morning to almost every thing in the neighbourhood. Definitely not everyone.

As expected, the ride to school is boring, squashy and loathsome. But my dad has always taught me to be grateful, so I push aside my pessimism and be thankful that I can at least afford a bus ride to school.

It's early but the school is already crowded. I push past about a dozen flustered students carrying enormous piles of books. I almost feel guilty that I'm don't care as much about the tests as they do. Almost. But not yet. I make it to my locker and jerk the door open.

It's a mess inside, curtesy of my ignorance to cleanliness and tidiness. Maybe that's why my mum and I are always at loggerheads with each other. I've piled up all my textbooks and papers in one stack and any extra space is crammed with files and extra reference books. There's even a half eaten energy bar.

Grimacing, I push it aside and take the books which I need. I shut the door before anything can topple out. Then I make a beeline to my classroom and plop myself down on the seat right at the back corner of the classroom.

It's a nuisance, really, to read through and entire chapter and not absorb anything at all. It's even more of a nuisance when someone tries to get my attention while I hold a staredown with the book.

"Layne. Hey, Layne!"

I grumble inwardly and force myself to look at the speaker. Mark Daniels, the smartest guy in school. Who do you think his rival is? The smartest girl. Who do you think she is? Me.

We've been rivals since the start of time.

My mood is officially ruined.

"What is it?" I grit out, barely containing my annoyance.

"Good luck for the tests later on, maybe you'd even have a chance of beating me," he replies, his words bleeding sarcasm.

"You came all this way to tell me that? Gosh, I'm honoured," I scoff. "Now would you and your army of nerds just leave me alone?"

Honestly, sometimes I feel like killing him. He retreats with a snicker and I do my best to stay in my seat.

I let my mind replay what I've thought for ages.

Marlene, if only you were still here, things would be different.