fractures

i remember everything

Layne

I remember everything.

I remember how I screamed until my voice went hoarse. I remember hearing sirens in the distance. Then there were lights, bright ones. A policewoman crouched beside me, saying things I couldn't hear. Then more policemen crowded the area, questioning Gwyneth, spotting Marlene dead below.

There was this one thought in my head, repeating over and over again.

You did this. You killed Marlene.

They brought me to the police station and everything was blurry. I was there physically. But my mind was breaking down, folding in on itself.

I killed Marlene.

They wanted to take a statement from me but I couldn't say anything. I felt sick.

I killed Marlene.

I threw up right there and then on the floor of the police station.

I killed Marlene.

Again and again and again, until I was weary and exhausted.

I killed Marlene.

Then I blacked out. And when I woke up, I was in the hospital. My parents were there, although I don't remember how they were contacted. But I do remember how I didn't know how I got there, how I didn't know Marlene was dead, how my mind turned everything that happened into some sick nightmare and locked it away to the deepest, darkest parts of it.

I feel sick again.

I killed Marlene.