fractures

it's a start

Layne

It takes a great deal of sneaking around to get out of the house in the morning. My mother hasn't left for work yet and I'm not about to wait around for her to chase me to school. What Abbey showed me yesterday barely answered any of my questions. It left me wondering and confused and cold. As I hop onto the bus to school, every cell in my body anticipates meeting Abbey and asking her what she meant by telling me about Marlene's Askfm. 

The bus lurches to a stop at the bus stop outside school and I'm out before I can barely register the doors opening. I cover the distance between the school entrance and the bus stop in a few bounding leaps and I dash all the way to Abbey's locker. 

"Abbey," I greet breathlessly as she turns around after taking her books. 

"Whoa, did you run a marathon or something?" Abbey jokes. 

"Kind of."

"God job! You're finally exercising after so long!"

"What did you mean?"

"What? I was just joking-"

"No, what did you mean when you told me to look at Marlene's Askfm?"

Abbey shrugs. "Nothing much, I just thought you should take a look at it."

"No you didn't, you thought it was some kind of clue Marlene left behind."

Something crosses Abbey's face and all of a sudden, her expression is all guarded. "So what if I did?" 

"Why? Why would you think so?" I challenge. 

"Don't you find it odd? What type of person would use poems to answer questions?"  

"I don't know, Marlene was a little bit of a literature fanatic. But that aside, why did you think it's a clue? Do you think Marlene killed herself? Do you think she left all that as clues?" 

"Even if you don't think so, there's still that possibility that she did jump off that cliff on purpose!"

I can't believe her. I won't believe her. "She wouldn't. If she had been upset, if she had been depressed, she would have told me. But she didn't. That means she wasn't and it was just some freak accident that-"

"How are you so sure? How do you know that she wasn't hurting even if she didn't tell you?" Abbey shoots back. "You may have been her best friend, Layne, but that doesn't mean you know everything about her!"

I pause a bit. The way she says that so surely, it's like she knew Marlene. She wouldn't be able to say that if Marlene were just some stranger to her, right? 

"You knew her," I say, slowly and carefully. "You knew Marlene." 

Abbey blinks, laughs in what I call a nervous way. "Are you out of your mind, Layne? I just moved here, I don't know anyone around here."

She isn't looking at me anymore and if we were in some other scenario instead of arguing about Marlene, I would have laughed at her complete inability to hide her thoughts and feelings. 

"Don't try to deny it, Abbey," I say. 

And just when I am about to needle her for more answers, the bell signalling the start of the first period rings. Crowds of students start walking towards their classrooms, pushing and shoving past us. 

"Gotta go, my biology teacher will make me sit in a corner like a preschooler if I'm late," Abbey jokes halfheartedly. 

Then she turns and the crowd swallows her whole. 

I wait until most of the crowd is gone before I make my way to my locker. It doesn't matter if I'm a little late. Calculus is my first class and Mr Ken isn't a strict teacher. Besides, a scolding due to tardiness can't dampen my mood.

Some part of me is rejoicing, because finally, after so long, I have answers. It might not be all the answers I need, but it's a start.

There isn't a doubt.

Abbey knows Marlene.