Shot In The Dark.

Haunted. (One-shot)

"You're an idiot, you know that?" 

Now I do.

"This is dangerous."

I wish I listened.

"You're only going to get hurt." "He won't hurt me."

Silly, silly girl.

Ten months gone, with "we told you so" ringing in my ears. The only ringing I needed was of the telephone, whispers of your pleading, begging you to take me back.

Yet ten months gone, and all I hear is static, the distant cold comfort of reassurance that I'll "get over" you and that I'll "forget" one day.

I wish I could get over you, they have no idea how much I wish that.

But every brokenhearted teenage girl's cliche line is "it's not that easy", and crazy as it sounds, it really isn't. 

You cannot simply build a bridge over two years of infatuation and three years of love, say goodbye and get over it. Because you had me, Jake, every piece of me. Every inch and every single part of me. You took me in your arms, and you held me when I was broken. 

And you fixed me, like how you promised you would. You made me alive and you made me feel loved and you told me I was beautiful, oh so beautiful. You would look at me with your eyes shining and you would smile and tell me you loved me. You called at 3 AM just to tell me you loved me, that I meant the world to you. 

You made me believe you loved me, and you took the wrecked and damaged parts of me and you fixed me. Broken, beaten down me. I was hopeless, but then there was you.

But dammit Jake, dammit. You broke me again. And again and again and again. 

I cannot, I will not, build a bridge over my troubled waters. I don't want to. Not over you.

And I'm human, I'm only human. Humans do not forget. We don't remember everything entirely, no. But we never forget.

Do you think I'll forget? Forget the way your hazel eyes shone as bright -even brighter, really- as stars, forget your rough hands and the way your fingers ran through my hair on a rough day, familiar and comforting. Forget the sound of your voice, the words you spoke, always a smile in your tone. Forget your smile and forget your lips, always smirking. 

I can never forget, Jake. I know I'm already losing the traces of you; I cannot remember if you threw your head back when you laughed, or if you raised your eyebrows when confused. I don't remember if you said shit or fuck, if you listened to music with both earphones on. 

When it comes down to it, Jake, I know I won't forget how you made me feel. I may forget the essence of our love, and maybe the essence of you. But never you, not you completely. Especially not the things you made me feel. You made me feel loved, like for once in my life somebody actually cared. You took your time and you tore down my walls. You were careful, so careful not to break me. I know you loved me. It was so evident in your eyes, Jake. 

But people get tired, Jake. I know you well enough to say you just got tired. Tired of loving someone so broken, someone who was constantly dragging you down.

I could only imagine what it felt to have to love someone with scars on her arms, and even more on her heart. Was it painful, when I had to call you in the middle of my anxiety attacks? Did it hurt, holding a fragile rag doll in your hands?

I was your rose, remember? No matter the thorns, people loved roses. Yet no matter the love, people prick themselves, and then they realize roses aren't that beautiful after all.

So ten months gone, you've packed your bags and moved on. I'm stuck here with the ghost of you and the girl I thought was dead. She came back, I came back. 

Now I'm haunted, and wherever I go all I hear is the faint whisper of your name. 

~~

Do I cross your mind?

Do you think of me when you're alone?

Do you even remember what we once were?

I don't know, and I never will.

I don't want to find out. 

I have enough ghosts by my side. 

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A/N: Writing one-shots at 3 AM is my favourite hobby. Ha ha. I would like to say a big thank you for my inspiration for this, and a huge FUCK YOU for the greatest years of my life. Asshole. :--)

(Okay sorry but past feelings keep coming back to haunt me so....)

CONCRIT, appreciateed :)